Don't Think Twice Page #3

You never know if it was good

when you were little

or you were just little,

so you didn't know.

It's the great paradox of weekend

live, is was it good ever?

Or did we think so

because we were 12?

You should not have

said that in your audition.

I brought that up

at my interview.

Hi.

Sarah, we're gonna hold ten.

Why are we holding ten?

I called Hugh Finn. He's bringing over

some producers from weekend live.

Hey, Jack, don't pull

some showboat sh*t out there.

What? When do I do that?

You always do that.

Anyone from the industry shows up, you

turn into a one-man audition tape.

You did it when the guy from Conan

came, when law and order came.

You guys, where's bill?

Where is bill?

He doesn't wanna miss this.

"Where are you?"

Bill?

Where's bill?

Where's bill? Where's bill?

Bill, bill, bill,

bill, bill, bill.

Bill's not gonna be happy

about missing weekend live.

- I love bill, but we gotta do the show.

- Here we go, guys.

Please welcome the commune!

Hi. I'm Sam.

Miles.

Allison.

Lindsay.

Jack.

And we are the commune.

In fact, everything you see tonight

is going to be improvised,

and it's all about you guys.

So did anybody out there

have a particularly hard day?

Hmm? Yes.

Yeah, I saw my dad for the

first time in ten years today.

What? Really? Where?

He drives a taxi, and I just

randomly got into his cab.

Wait. No, no, no.

Wow.

Fact-checking.

Uh, you got into a taxi.

You did not know it was your dad.

Then you said, "hi, dad"?

Yes, I said, "hi, dad."

Well, okay.

Wow. Hop in.

Oh.

Thanks. I didn't think anyone was gonna

pick me up. It's raining so hard.

Yeah. Where you headed?

I'm going to a restaurant

on west fourth and Broadway.

What do you got goin' on there?

A blind date with a man I'll probably

engage in sexual congress with.

That seems a little fast.

Well...

Thank you. I...

I consider myself quite fast.

In fact, I...

I have abandonment issues.

My father left me.

So I basically only relate

to men through sex.

That's challenging

for me to hear.

Um... in that case,

I think I'll get out here.

Okay.

Welcome to la Traviata.

How many?

Two. I'm meeting someone.

I'll be right back.

Thank you.

Dad?

I'm just trying to be

part of your life.

And you drove the cab?

Well, uh, now, look,

as the president of

the United States of America,

I believe that it's not only

my duty to find your father

but also have him pick you up in a cab

and take you to your destination.

This is a new program we're working

on right now called cabs for dads,

but my critics like

to call it Obamacabs.

Uh, as if that would bother me.

I was justifying why a man would be

picking up his daughter in a cab.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes