Daddy's Home 2 Page #4

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or do you send them in

with the registration?

How does it work exactly?

No, no, they didn't take my balls.

Just $2,000 down.

This your place, Dusty?

- I pictured it nicer.

- BRAD:
Yeah, Dusty's house is nicer.

This is my house.

Just thought you'd like to

step in and see the kids.

Only if it's okay. Look, we don't

want to infringe on your days.

(SCOFFS) Of course, don't be silly.

Come on, guys.

You got to ask another man's

permission to see your own kids?

(SCOFFS) Unbelievable.

We're back! With more daddies!

Hey! Look how big you two got!

Come on. Don't I get a hug?

Come on!

(KURT CHUCKLES)

And who's this barroom brawler?

MEGAN:
He's our brother,

Griffy, silly.

Hey, come here, pardner.

Dusty, you never told me.

- Why, he looks just like you.

- Yeah, not my kid.

Oh, no, no, no.

I fathered that one.

Oh. Ah, then how does he

relate to me then?

Well, he is the brother

of your grandkids, Kurt.

- Oh. Here, here.

- Oh. Okay.

Hey, looking good, Buttercup.

Good to see you.

- Look who's here!

- BOTH:
Pop-Pop!

(LAUGHS)

- Tell us a Pop-Pop joke!

- DON:
Ooh, ooh.

What's a good one?

Why does a duck have feathers?

Why?

- To cover up his butt quack.

- (ALL LAUGHING)

Hey, kids,

I got a good one for you.

- Two dead hookers wash up on the shore...

- Hey, hey!

- Whoa, whoa, shut up.

- No way. No way.

- Sara. How's my girl?

- Hi!

What, Ginny couldn't make it?

Oh, she feels terrible.

But she sent a batch of

her special cookies!

- Is there milk in that kitchen?

- MEGAN:
Yay!

DON:
I want the first one.

I get the first one!

So he gets to be Pop-Pop

and I'm just Grandpa Kurt?

What? I'm in charge of the

cutesy grandpa names now?

Look, if you want a better name, maybe

try showing up a little more often.

Tell the kids, from now on,

it's El Padre.

No more hooker jokes.

These don't taste like La-La's cookies.

They taste like Chips Ahoys.

DON:
No, no. I sat right there

in the kitchen

and watched Grandma

bake them just yesterday.

DYLAN:
I like them.

So, this co-dads thing,

is that what you call it?

Yeah, that's what we call it.

So, on his watch,

he disciplines your kids,

gives them advice, tucks

them in, so forth

and that bothers

you not a bit?

Doesn't bother me at all.

And his total lack of

masculinity...

I mean, his weak chin and soft

underbelly influencing your son,

you're good there,

too? Yeah?

You know what? I'm just feeling like

maybe you guys want a little privacy.

Stay right there,

Brad, all right?

He's just trying

to stir the turd.

- (SCOFFS)

- You can scoff all you want.

Everything is rock solid

between me and Brad here.

- In fact, best friends.

- Really? (SNIFFLES)

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