Dad's Army Page #5

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that butcher's just now.

What's that

supposed to mean?

Handsome woman.

Is she?

Wouldn't know.

Seems a good sort.

To be writing about us, I mean.

Seeing her again after

so long is really rather discombobulating.

Well, you know, confusing.

Yes, I know what discombob...

Discombobu...

I know what it means, Wilson.

So, you knew her at Oxford.

I was her tutor for a while.

But you two weren't...

Weren't...

Well, it looked

like maybe you were...

Were...

Or had been, you know.

Hmm?

Oh.

That? No! No, no, no.

-Good lord, no.

-Jolly good.

Important we're clear.

Parade at 6:
00. Don't be late.

- Morning.

- Good morning.

Take these

through to the cashier, would you, Wilson?

Certainly, sir.

What are you doing, pike?

Stupid...

Platoon, fall in!

Platoon, right turn!

Two, three, one!

By the left.

Quick march!

Uh...

Mr. frazer,

Mr. Godfrey, about turn!

Sorry, everyone.

Platoon, right turn!

Now, miss winters,

may I say,

you do look lovely tonight.

I beg your pardon.

Ah!

Colonel.

I didn't mean you look lovely.

No, no, no,

of course not. Far from it.

Not that you look unlovely.

I'm sure to many you are lovely.

Not really my area.

About the patrol.

Ah. Yes, a great honor.

Sergeant Wilson

will be here any moment for your briefing.

We'll crack on without him.

Golf club do. Wife in the car.

Your orders are simple, mainwaring.

You're to stick

to the coastal path at all times.

Do not approach

the base in any way. Understood?

Not approach the base?

But surely we need...

Are you questioning

an order, mainwaring?

As you know,

the home guard have been asked for cuts

to help with

the big push into France.

Has it?

We'll be reviewing the troops.

Sorting the wheat from

the chaff, as it were.

I won't beat about the bush.

Walmington feels chaffy.

My men are as

keen as mustard, sir.

Your sergeant

doesn't seem to be.

First patrol,

this Saturday, 0900. Put on a good show.

There's no better way

of saving the platoon.

Must dash.

We should get together

sometime, play a round with the wives.

Barbara loves a four-ball.

Carry on, old man.

Chaffy.

Platoon, fall in!

Attention!

Where is sergeant Wilson?

In bed,

i shouldn't wonder.

Caught a chill

up on the downs.

Poppycock.

Saw him coming out

of the gent's outfitters

on the high street

just an hour ago

looking happier

than a kitten on a cow's udder.

-I like your tie.

-What?

Oh, really? This? Do you?

Well, it's just a...

Pfft.

I often thought of you

over the years, Arthur.

Teaching, whitehall, perhaps,

but never in walmington-on-sea.

Well, it has its charms.

You were such

a good teacher, Arthur.

Well, I don't remember

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