Charley's Aunt Page #3

EXACTLY. NOW, I DON'T SAY THAT THE

GIRL IS A FORTUNE-HUNTER, MIND YOU,

BUT I WOULDN'T PUT I BEYOND HER GUARDIAN.

MR. SPETTIGUE'S REPUTATION

IS NONE TOO SAVORY.

IF I COULD ONLY:

MEET THE YOUNG LADY...

AND JUDGE FOR MYSELF, I'D-

- SUPPOSE I WENT INCOGNITO?

- SPLENDID.

YES, BUT HOW WOULD I

GET ABOUT UNESCORTED?

OH, I CAN FIX THAT.

I'LL GIVE YOU A LETTER TO MY

NEPHEW, LORD FANCOURT BABBERLY,

AND ASK HIM TO SHOW YOU

AROUND OXFORD.

YES?

OH, NO. NO.

- NO?

- NO, THAT WON'T DO.

HE'S A FRIEND OF CHARLEY'S

AND HE MIGHT WARN HIM.

BUT DON'T TELL HIM WHO

I AM. SAY THAT I'M, UH-

I'M, UH,

MRS. BEVERLY SMITH.

RIPPING! OH-

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

WELL, I'M JUST THINKING-

"SMITH. SMITH."

RATHER AN ORDINARY NAME...

FOR A FIRM OF OUR REPUTATION TO

BE CONNECTED WITH, DON'T YOU THINK?

WELL, HOW ABOU MRS. BEVERLY SMYTHE?

OH, NOW-

NOW, THAT'S MUCH BETTER.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

OH, JACK?

I SAY, JACK?

OH, JACK?

HELLO, CHARLEY.

DID YOU MEET MY UNCLE?

I MEAN, YOUR AUNT?

NO. SHE WASN'T ON THE

11:
00. WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD.

I HOPE SHE, UH-

I HOPE SHE ISN'T LOST.

SHE'LL PROBABLY BE IN

ON THE 12:
15.

NOW, BABBS, THAT'S NO VERY SPORTING OF YOU.

YOU SAID I MIGHT KEEP I OVER THE WEEKEND. I DID NOT.

AND BESIDES, I WANT TO HAVE MY INITIALS

PUT ON IT. THAT CAN WAIT TILL MONDAY.

JACK, LOOK OUT!

THAT'S MY BAG.

CHARLEY, THAT'S MY BAG.

LOOK OUT.

I OUGHT TO BASH:

YOUR CRUMPET.

YOU MIGHT HAVE:

CRACKED THE LEATHER.

I SAY, YOU ARE IN A TEMPER. WHA HAPPENED? DID OLD REDCLIFFE FINE YOU?

FINE ME? HE'S GONNA SEND ME DOWN. WHAT?

YOU'D THINK YOUNG STAFFORD WOULD BE SPOR ENOUGH TO ADMIT HE'D KNOCKED YOU OUT.

HE DIDN'T KNOCK ME OUT.

I TRIPPED-

AND I'VE GOT WITNESSES

TO PROVE IT. REALLY? WHO?

YOU AND CHARLEY.

ME?

I WASN'T ANYWHERE NEAR THE PLACE.

AND I WAS ON THE CRICKET FIELD.

YOU WERE BOTH SITTING

ON THE TOP STEP,

AND DON'T FORGET THAT IN

REDCLIFFE'S OFFICE TOMORROW.

SO THAT'S IT.

OH, NOW I REMEMBER.

WE WERE SITTING ON

THE TOP STEP. EXACTLY.

YES, AND I WAS SITTING IN

YOUR LAP. OH, STOP SPOOFING.

OH, I SAY, CHARLEY. YOU CAN' BE THERE TOMORROW MORNING.

OH, NO. OF COURSE. I SHALL

BE DRAGGING MY AUNTIE ABOUT.

BUT, CHARLEY- AND I'VE GO TO SEE THE VICE-CHANCELLOR.

FELLOWS, YOU CAN'T DO THIS.

IT'S A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH.

IF YOU'RE NOT THERE

TOMORROW, I'LL BE SENT DOWN,

AND THEN MY UNCLE WON' TAKE ME INTO THE FIRM.

AND THEN MY FAMILY WILL SEND ME BACK

TO THAT SHEEP RANCH IN NEW ZEALAND.

AND WHEN I ARRIVE THERE, THEY'LL ALL

BE WAITING FOR ME AND CALLING TO ME.

WHO?

THE SHEEP-

THIRTY-FIVE THOUSAND

DIRTY, SMELLY SHEEP.

AND EVERY ONE OF THEM SAYING,

"BABBS! BABBS!"

WHAT'S SO FUNNY

ABOUT THAT?

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