Carla's Song Page #4

Open this door!

Where are you going?

- Let's just go for a wee run.

- Open this door!

Get this door open! My money's in

that taxi! Open this door up!

- We'll try and find him for you.

- Are you off your head?

My money's in that f***in' taxi!

Calm down.

Calm down.

Sh*t.

My money's in that taxi!

- Right, stop this bus right now!

- I'm taking you on a wee tour.

Open this door!

I want off this bus right now.

- A magical mystery tour.

- Open this f***ing door!

Look, I'll tell everybody it's my fault.

Just pull the f***in' bus in, will you?

- Want off?

- Aye, I want off.

- Sure you want off?

- Aye, I want off. Now, open the doors!

You want to see a doctor.

You're off your f***in' head.

Aye, so people tell me.

What are you waiting for now?

You need to all get off the bus.

It's out of service.

I'm not joking.

You need to get off.

- The guy's a pot head.

- We could have all been killed.

Ho.

- Ho! Off the bus.

- What's the bus doing here?

Just f*** off.

OK, OK.

- Where are we going?

- Please don't ask me questions.

- Why?

- No questions.

"Better by bus. "

There we are.

- Eh?

- Beautiful.

Yeah.

This mountain over here

is called Ben Lomond.

And this is Loch Lomond.

It goes on for miles and miles.

- It's really beautiful.

- Yeah.

I've been here hundreds of times.

First I came here with my grandfather,

my grandpa.

I was just a wee, wee boy.

He loved it here.

The thing I like about it is it's always

changing all the time, you know?

The sky, the water, the ferns.

I don't know. When I'm pissed off,

it makes me peaceful.

And then when I'm happy...

it makes me more happy.

I don't know. I can't explain it.

Anyway, let's have a seat.

There we go.

I've got a wee surprise.

You like surprises?

- Yes.

- Good.

A special treat.

Da-da.

- You like this?

- Yes.

I love this.

Get it off.

Yes!

Here.

OK, toast.

Make a toast and you're

bound to get good luck.

To all my family,

to all my friends,

to all the world,

to the band I play with,

to the music, to the drinks.

That's lovely.

And... to Antonio.

Wherever he is.

Your... boyfriend?

He was.

And to Nicaragua libre.

Free Nicaragua.

Nicaragua libre.

In a oner.

In a oner.

Oh, f***.

Ya... f***in' bastard.

Go on, you bastard!

F*** it.

F*** it, it's no' working.

It's freezing. Come up the back.

It's warmer up here.

Oh, that's better.

Oh!

Oh.

Oh, your hands are cold.

Cold.

Yeah.

OK?

It only happened a couple of times,

sweethart.

And have you slept with her?

No.

Did you want to?

For f***'s sake, Maureen.

You've never ever

lied to me before.

Probably. I don't know.

I hardly know her.

What am I gonna do?

Look, Maureen,

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