Can't Hardly Wait Page #3

It's not about a dog.

It's about a woman named Amanda.

Who the hell

names their dog Amanda?

My cousin named her dog Samantha.

Look, shut up about the dog, okay?

- You came and you gave without faking

- That's my sign.

That is totally my sign.

Consider me ready.

Hi! Oh, my God, you guys.

Come on in.

Oh, don't let the dog out. Oh, Susan,

you look so cute. Oh, hi, Ray.

Oh, and the drinks are in the back,

okay? Oh, Preston.

I'm so glad you came,

and you brought a friend.

Hi. No, it's okay.

Just come on in.

Just, you know, drink, be happy.

Preston Meyers. Not one step further

until you sign my yearbook.

I'm gonna be the first

Huntington Hills student...

to get all 522 seniors to sign.

- My, how ambitious of you.

- Don't think you're not signing either.

I saved a special space

for you to sign in the back.

Why didn't you get

your senior portrait taken?

Specifically to avoid moments

like this one, actually.

Thanks. You too.

Go, Huntington!

I almost fell out of my dress!

Let's go, boys. Time is honey.

Ah, yeah!

Cool, a key party, bro.

You look so pretty.

Oh, Christie.

Jessica,

thank you for coming. Kenny.

- What's up?

- Come on in.

Hi. Wait. You guys, no one can go

in the fancy room, okay?

I mean, seriously, my parents

are coming home on Sunday.

- Kenny Fisher, sign my yearbook.

- No, thanks. No time.

Come on. Where's your school spirit?

Go, Hot Dogs!

- B*tch, get a life!

- Ah, yeah!

We got a mad town

up in this mother.

Yo, shorties gonna be

linin' up to get with me.

Yo, check it.

Time to get busy.

Hey, yo, you think he's gonna

hizzit the skizzins?

Yo, man, that boy

ain't got no skills, man.

Watch out, guys.

Coming through here.

Hey, yo, white boy.

You better check yourself, man.

This is our first show ever.

Don't screw it up.

Yeah, look, dude. I heard Carol Brawner

invited her cousin tonight.

And the word is,

his brother's roommate...

knows a guy

who knows a scout in L.A.

- Shut up.

- Yeah.

Thank God we got these T-shirts

printed, huh? Yeah. Check 'em out.

Okay, we're gonna rendezvous here

at 0030 hours, all right?

Wait, William.

There's gonna be drinking in there.

- Yeah? So?

- So what are you gonna do?

They're gonna kick you out

if you don't drink.

Well, I will be drinking.

- But, William, you could get drunk.

- You could get addicted.

No. It's okay. Look.

I downloaded this little baby

off the net.

I will know exactly how many spirits

I may imbibe...

without affecting my judgment

or my behavior.

Wow. You've got every angle covered.

You know, William,

from this light...

you somewhat resemble

David Duchovny.

William, trust no one.

I am a sex machine!

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