Can't Buy Me Love Page #3

Dealer's choice.

Hearts.

- Fran, isn't it?|- Yeah!

Wow! Wow, can I pet it?

- I'm sorry. It's dead.|- Ooh, cool outfit!

Ooh, what a severe suede.

You guys, it's no big deal.|Um, Bobby sent it to me from Iowa.

You know, they have|fine leathers down there.

Oh, yeah, the best leathers|come from Rome, Paris and Des Moines.

I don't remember this.|I was just in your closet yesterday.

Um, I probably had it|somewhere else. I don't know.

Hey, Fran, do you wanna|go mingle a little bit?

My mom won't let me near suede.|It's too hard to clean.

Yeah, I know.|My mom feels the same way.

Did I tell any of you girls about|my many scholarship offers?

- Mm-hmm.|Hey,John boy!

- Yeah! Quint! Hi!|- John!

Watch it! Ooh. Sorry, hon.

Oh, my God.|- Don't worry. It's only wine.

Just rub some salt on it.|It'll come out.

Oh, oh.

I mean, it's not like I ruined it.

Oh.

Damn it.

Now, for the same price, I can sell you|this five-inch telescope.

- Oh, it's only five inches.|- Well, it has an optical inverter.

- Hmm.|- Take a look. Take a look.

It gives you an erect image|rather than upside-down.

Hmm. Yeah. Ah,yes!

I see the erection.

I'll be right back.

I'll wrap it up|for you, Ronald.

Yes, I, I relate|to your dilemma, miss. I really do.

But we have a policy of no exchanges,

especially after a garment|has been marinated in Ripple?

All right, now, I will|compromise, all right?

Um, I, I will work here after school|and on weekends...

Would you listen to me? I will work|here after school and on weekends,

and all you need to do is give me|a replacement outfit as an advance.

- Listen, honey.|- What?

I'll repeat your alternatives|one last time.

You can keep your outfit|and dye the rest of it cranberry.

Or you can purchase a new one.

Would you please help me?|I will do anything.

Tsk. It's not that bad.

- What are you talking about? Are you high?|- I want to rent you.

You want to rent me?

Yeah. You pretend you like me,|and we go out for just a few weeks...

and that will make me popular.

Just going out with me|is not gonna make you popular.

Well, I have $1,000|that says it will.

I think you've mowed|one too many lawns.

You're right.

Tsk.

I believe we have decided|against purchasing the outfit.

Donald!

Oh! You made it!

- I was afraid you weren't gonna meet me.|- Mellow out, Donald.

I said 8:
05. I'm here, right?|Relax, anyway. It's only school.

Yeah, well, this is not|my average opening day.

I'm about to walk|the cool hallway.

- I usually go the long route through the library.|- Would you ease up?

I mean, I'm the one who's gonna|have to hold a press conference...

when we're seen|together, right?

- Right.|- Okay, now let's get this deal straight one more time.

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