But I'm a Cheerleader Page #5

is to start partnering off.

Find yourself a friend for

the remainder of the program.

All right, everybody settle.

Now that we have all

found someone,

what I'd like you to do

is practice sometime tonight

with these.

- It's a woman.

- And what else?

I don't know.

A mother.

Women have roles.

After you learn that,

you'll stop objectifying them.

Haven't you been listening

to anything Mary said?

Well have you?

- Have I what?

- Stopped objectifying them.

I'm still looking for my root.

Must be tough

when you're such a priss.

Your turn.

- (buzzing)

- Ow!

You really have to be more prepared

for temptation, Megan.

(sighs)

Give it to me.

I'm open.

Mike:
Boys!

Don't you see how sad

and pathetic you all are,

always wanting something

you can't have?

If I catch you looking

at another man like that

ever again,

you'll be watching sports

the whole weekend.

Mary:
First thing we do,

is we pull these tabs out.

Then you fold it over.

Right now I've used

food coloring.

This way you could

see it better.

And if it's a boy, well it

- tinkles out.

- That's the wrong tab, okay?

Will you please hold it still

while I'm doing this?

You're doing it all wrong.

No, I'm not. If you would just

give it to me to do,

it would be fine.

Mary:
Girls...

intervene.

Let's try that one more time.

...and I realized

that when we finished

swimming lessons

we would change

in front of each other.

And that's it...

why I'm a homo.

Andre, that's what kids do

after swimming lessons.

Change,

everybody does that.

But I took one look

at those boys,

and I got a...

you know what.

(coughs)

I can relate to that.

When I used to study with Jacob,

we used to touch each others legs,

and rub up against each other.

Blowing each other after

your f***in' bar mitzvah's

a little bit different

than learning to dog paddle.

That is totally uncalled for.

Well excuse me, but we're paying

a lot of money here

to get these kids fixed,

not sit around,

and listen to stories all day.

Graham, I hope you're getting

a little more out of this program

than that f*ggot over there.

Mr. Eaton,

I don't find that appropriate.

No, he's right,

it was a stupid ass root.

I'm never gonna know why

I'm a f*ggot.

I've heard enough

of this crap.

And when you get back

from Switzerland,

you'd better have this gay thing

out of your system. Got it?

I got it.

You f*** up, no college,

no car, no trust fund.

I'm not sitting

in any room with faggots.

Mary:
Megan...

it's your turn to report

out your root.

I think it might be

my parents.

Okay, go with that.

You know we've kinda been

like this greeting card family.

And then there was

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