But I'm a Cheerleader

Synopsis: Megan is an all-American girl. She's a cheerleader and has a boyfriend, but she doesn't like kissing him very much, and she's pretty tactile with her cheerleader friends, and she only has pictures of girls up in her locker. Her parents and friends conclude that she *must* be gay and send her off to "sexual redirection" school, full of admittedly homosexual misfits, where she can learn how to be straight. Will Megan be turned around to successful heterosexuality, or will she succumb to her love for the beautiful Graham?
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Romance
Director(s): Jamie Babbit
Production: Lions Gate Films
  2 wins & 2 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
85 min

# Hang up the chick habit,

hang it up, Daddy #

# Or you'll be alone in a quick #

# Hang up the chick habit,

hang it up, Daddy #

# Or you'll never get another fix #

# I'm telling you it's not a trick,

pay attention, don't be thick #

# Or you're liable to get licked #

# You're gonna see the reason why #

# When they're spitting in your eye

they'll be spitting in your eye #

# Hang up the chick habit

hang it up, daddy #

# Your girl's not a tonic or a pill #

# Hang up your chick habit

hang it up, daddy #

# You're just jonesin' for a spill #

# Oh, how your bubble's gonna burst

when you meet another nurse #

# She'll be drivin' in a hearse #

# You're gonna need a heap of glue

when they all catch up with you #

# And they cut you up in two. #

Freemont power, Freemont pride.

Be aggressive, drive, drive, drive.

Freemont power, Freemont pride.

Be aggressive.

Drive, drive, drive.

Freemont power, Freemont pride.

Be aggressive, drive, drive, drive.

Go Freemont!


Okay, everybody,

tomorrow after classes

make sure that you have your uniforms

picked up from the dry cleaners,

because the bus for the playoffs

is gonna leave at 7:30 a.m.,

The next morning, all right?

- (sighing)

- Oh my God.

But the Doughnut Hole has agreed

to donate four dozen doughnuts.


Okay, we're gonna kill

the Rangers this year, right?


I can't believe you're leaving.

It's just a couple of hours

before you go.

Yeah. Right.


Aren't you excited?

It's playoffs!

Yeah. Whatever.

Come on.

I have to get home for dinner.


Oh, all right.


That's some beef.

- Mother:
And carrots.

- Yummy.

Thank you, Mother.


- Thank you, poodle.

- Sure.



Dear Lord,

please bless this food

that we are about to eat.

We thank you for the abundance

that You have provided.

Please help us to follow Your path,

the one you intended us all to follow.

And Lord...

please help us to obey

the roles in life You set for us.

For all that is natural and...


and sacred,

in Your name we pray.


- Amen.

- Let's eat.

(car horn honking)

Bye, dear.

See ya later, swee... I mean tonight.

See you tonight.

Don't forget your

library books by the door.

Got them. Bye.

So... are we ready?

They'll all be here at 3:00.

Jesus, I hope we're

doing the right thing.

(bell rings)

Shaker Hills, here we come.

Remember, 7:
30 doughnuts.

Did you talk

to both her parents?

- Girl:
She's coming.

- Kill the Rangers.

I'll meet you outside.

Don't you hate it when they do that?

I think it's fun.

Maybe he just doesn't do it right.

- See ya.

- Bye.

(horn honks)

Speed up, jerk!


Why are we going so slow?


Zoning, I guess.

Mike, thanks so much for coming

all the way back out here again.

- That's what we're here for.

- Thank you, Mike.

- Now you've watched the video?

- Over and over.

Come in.

(horn honks)


The important thing is to be clear.

And direct.

But to do it lovingly.

We're not accusing,

we're supporting.

I think I hear the car.

Uh-oh. Here they come.


What happened?

Is somebody dead?

They're your favorite.

Now, why don't you just

come on in and sit down, honey?

What's going on?

Hi, Megan.

My name is Mike.

Your parents and your friends

want to have a conversation with you,

and I'm here to help

facilitate that dialogue.

So why don't we start

by sitting down,

and making ourselves


How would that be?

Now, Peter,

would you like to start

the conversation?

Megan, we love you.

We all love you.

Rate this script:3.5 / 2 votes

Brian Peterson

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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