Breakin' All the Rules Page #4

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How does it feel to be in the building

as an author and not a slave?

- I can wait by Philip's office.

- I don't want you to be lonely.

- Lonely?

- You gotta get out more...

...because it's depressing

seeing you.

A fan wrote me a letter,

said I was arrogant.

No, no. Let me tell you something.

You have supplied...

...a humanitarian service to the world.

- No.

No, listen to me.

You should feel good about that.

How is anybody gonna find

their one true love...

...when they're stuck in a bunch of

dead-end relationships? Quincy...

...you are a love enabler.

- I just need somebody normal.

Oh, see, there you go. There are no

normal relationships. You know why?

Because there are no

normal women.

You know what? A girl came to

my crib. Never seen her before.

- Says that she dug the book.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait. A groupie.

Oh, my boy had his first groupie.

Groupies are there to please, okay.

They're there to do whatever,

whenever, however you want, kid.

- I couldn't close the deal.

- Oh, Q! Don't tell me that, man.

Do you know what I'd do

to get with a groupie?

If it happens again,

you can pretend you're me.

I'm gonna do that. I gotta meet up with

Nicky later. You wanna check her out?

- Nope. How many weeks she got left?

- Technically, her time's almost up.

- But she's a little freaky. So...

- You like her.

- No.

- You gazed into just midair.

- No, I...

- When you like people, you gaze.

All right, you know what it is? She has

this long, black, thick, sexy, sexy hair.

- Just got the weirdest pain in my nuts.

- I don't want to be staring at that.

Anyway, you'd like her, Q. She does

physical therapy at the hospital.

- You know, she's bright.

- Mulatto?

- No, no. A little cinnamon.

- Okay. Bright like smart.

Yeah, bright like smart. She's tough.

She has body and that long,

long, black hair.

Oh, sh*t, there it is again.

Boy, you are too old

to be having the crabs.

You been putting that where

you ain't supposed to?

It's a very social organ, but...

- Yo.

- He's ready fir yiu.

Okay. All I'm saying is that

one day a girl's gonna dump you...

...before you dump her. It's gonna

have you very Eric Benet: sensitive.

- Don't jinx me.

- I'm not jinxing you.

She's gonna hide things from you.

The next thing you know, she's gonna

give you those fatal words:

"Baby, I think we need to talk."

- Respond to the door.

- Okay, fine. I'm out.

- Twist it, respond, out.

- Need something from the clinic?

- Hey.

- Hey.

- Hey.

- Hey.

- Author, author. Good to see you.

- King Author, baby. King Author.

- What's cracking?

- Well, yeah.

- Ready to do the second printing?

- Let's get cracking.

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