Breakin' All the Rules Page #3

---

I'm calling your mother.

It started out as a letter,

then it evolved into a manual.

A manual on how to break up

with a lover...

...based on psychological and

employee-termination research.

You're telling me you don't find

any of this strange?

What's strange, huh?

What's strange about it?

When you break up with somebody,

and firing somebody's the same...

...you wanna do it the easiest way

without producing a stalker.

- I call it The Plan.

- The Plan?

The Plan. It is brilliant.

You got a table of contents?

I don't believe him.

"Committed or committable?

Time to kill.

Location, location."

Why break up at her place?

You control the duration of the

breakup, leave when you want.

A person can follow you if you're

at a bar, restaurant or hotel.

But ain't nobody leaving

their own apartment.

- And the answering machine?

- Change the outgoing message...

...to the mechanical one because a

breakup-ee will call the breakup-er...

...just to hear their voice

and then hang up.

And what that does, it creates a cycle

of emotional desperation...

...especially if the message says,

"I'm not here. I'm in Paris..."

You see, to me, falling in love

is blissful insanity.

But breaking up,

that's a rational act.

Now, how do we improve upon that

rational act? We do it through science.

What were you planning on

doing with this?

I'm...

I got a betty I been seeing

for three months.

Chapter 6. Yeah.

What's...? Capricorn?

- Aries.

- Oh, yeah.

You wanna take this

on a field test.

Quincy? We're gonna be rich, bro.

We are gonna be so incredibly rich.

Hiw ti dress. Hiw ti act.

What ti wear. What nit ti wear.

All I've dine is just research

and realize that yiu can break up...

...but imprive in it by the science.

- That's my boyfriend's cousin there.

- Who's that, honey?

The guy on TV, talking about

the book he wrote on how to break up.

Not exactly leading us out of the Dark

Ages, is he? He's kind of cute, though.

- What's he like?

- I don't know. I never met him.

- But I know he is one lonely puppy.

- Why do you say that?

What woman would go out with a guy

whose expertise is dumping people?

You got a point. Okay, here we go.

What's yiur live life like?

- Are yiu seeing anyine?

- Give me a secind.

So, what do you want me to do?

Something drastic. I've been

seeing Evan for three months...

...and I really like him,

but he's getting a bit twitchy.

You know how the fine ones are.

I think I need to shock him.

I need to shock myself.

I had that dream again.

- The one with the straps?

- No. The one with Halle Berry.

- So...

- Dreaming of Halle before a haircut...

...is as clear a sign you're

gonna get in this lifetime.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes