Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure Page #4

- Whoa!

What?

Come on.

- Look!

- It's the Goodyear blimp.

Huh?

I can't believe

they fell for that!

Yeah!

- Let's get 'em!

- Kill 'em!

Come on!

- You guys saved my life.

- Nothing doing, Billy the Kid.

- Where we going?

- The Golden Age of Civilization.

- Where?

- Ancient Greece, dude.

Don't worry, we'll bring you back

as soon as you talk in our report.

What?!

What the?

Socrates.

- Hey, we know that name.

- Yeah!

Hey, look him up.

- Oh. It's under So-crates.

- Oh, yeah.

"So-crates:

'The only true wisdom consists

in knowing that you know nothing."'

- That's us, dude!

- Oh, yeah!

- Let's bag him.

- Yeah.

How's it going?

I'm Bill, this is Ted.

We're from the future.

Socrates. Hm...

Now what?

I don't know.

Philosophize with him.

All we are is dust in the wind, dude.

Dust.

- Wind.

- Dude.

Ha!

Let's get out of here, dude.

Whoa!

All right!

Yee-ha!

Not bad, eh, So-crates?

- Where are we, dude?

- England, 15th century.

We are in most excellent shape

for our report.

Yeah, all we need

is one more speaker from medieval.

Excellent.

Billy, you are dealing

with the oddity of time travel

with the greatest of ease.

Excuse me.

Do you know where there are any

personages of historical significance

around here?

Whoa!

Check it out.

It must be the castle of King Henry.

Let's go, dude!

Billy, guard the booth.

And watch So-crates.

So-crates.

So, who should we get from medieval?

How about that gnarly old goat dude?

Ted?

I'm in love, dude.

Whoa!

Those must be the princesses you

told yourself about at the Circle K.

We gotta go, it's a history report,

not a babe report.

But Bill...

...those are historical babes.

OK, you're the ladies man,

how we gonna meet 'em?

Excellent.

- Bill?

- What?

- These are heavy.

- Yeah, heavy metal.

We gotta go find the princesses.

Yeah.

Watch it!

Who turned out all the lights?

- Hey, Bill?

- What?

I'm Darth Ted.

Yeah, well I'm Luke Bill.

And you're not my father.

Come on!

Hey!

I totally conquered you, dude!

No way!

Come on!

I'll never rule the universe with you.

- Hey, Bill.

- What?

We totally

know how to sword fight.

Yeah!

Ah! Whoa!

Ted.

Search the castle,

there might be more of them.

Get out of here!

Bogus.

Heinous.

Most non-triumphant.

Ah, Ted... don't be dead, dude.

You killed Ted, you medieval dickweed!

Whoa!

- Ted, you're alive!

- Yeah!

I fell out of my suit

when I hit the floor.

Fag.

Dude, you totally

boned that dude in the head.

Yeah!

He's a total bonehead.

...that fat old man. I must find

a way to escape before the night.

But how?

- What's that?

- Whoa...

Boys.

I can't believe they're here.

How's it going, ladies?

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