Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure Page #3

Grab his legs, we gotta get him inside.

I think I've figured out a way

to pass our report.

How?

Well, we've got one

historical figure here.

Maybe we can go back

and get some more.

Yeah!

Deacon,

you have to watch this guy.

His name is Napoleon.

He's a very famous French dude.

We have decided to collect other

important figures from history

for an oral report we are doing.

While we are gone, you are

not to let him out of your sight.

Here is some money.

Take him to the movies or something.

Napoleon, I am Bill.

We'll take you back to France after you

tell us what you think of San Dimas.

- This is Ted's little brother, Deacon.

- Hi.

He'll take care of you.

- Ready, Ted?

- Ready, Bill.

Let's go back into history.

This should be most triumphant.

I want to speak with you, son.

Alone please, Bill.

All right, sit down.

What am I gonna do with you?

You can't...

Great.

You lose my keys.

You fail history.

You spend all your time

with your loser friend

planning a band that'll never happen.

Now you're not to leave this house again

until tomorrow morning.

- Yes?

- Captain Logan?

This is Deputy Van Halen

down at the station.

Deputy Van Halen?

I'm new, dude... sir.

Look, we found your keys,

and if you want 'em,

you better come and get 'em.

When I get back from the station,

I want you packed and ready to go.

Got it?

We are in serious trouble.

My dad already signed me up,

my plane leaves tomorrow night.

Only if we fail, dude.

No way!

OK, we got Sigmund Freud,

Beethoven... Uh...

Is there one for Western Movement

in America in the 19th Century?

Yeah.

Well then...

...let's reach out

and touch someone.

How's it going, Old West Dude?

Hey, Bill,

this is just like Frontierland.

Yeah,

but you can get shot here, Ted.

Oh.

- Just try to act natural.

- OK.

- Howdy, partner.

- Howdy.

Watch out

for the horse crap, Ted.

Ugh. Thanks, dude.

- Hey, Bill, I'm totally thirsty.

- Me too.

Two beers, please.

Whoa! He didn't even card us, dude!

Yeah, we have to

remember this place.

So, who should we take with us?

- Who's he?

- He's Billy the Kid.

He's famous, dude.

Let's bag him.

I need two men.

Who's with me?

We're with you, Billy the Kid.

Here's the deal.

What I win, I keep.

What you win, I keep.

Sounds good, Mr. The Kid.

Dude, you gotta have a poker face,

like me.

Whoa! Three aces!

What the hell's going on here, Billy?

Are you cheating us, Kid?

Cheatin'?

Me?

Billy!

Excellent!

Look, we're totally weak.

We can't possibly fight you.

However, how would you gentlemen like...

...free passes to Waterloo.

Home of excellent water slides.

Nice try, dude.

Whoa!

- Whoa!

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