Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey

It is time.

They've reached the second crucial

turning point in their destiny.

Their message is about to

reach millions.

But... we will change all that.

When our mission is successful...

...no longer will the world

be dominated...

...by the legacy of these two fools!

No longer will we hear this:

We will stop them now!

Brothers and sisters...

...are we ready?

- Greetings, my excellent pupils.

- Station.

Let's continue our study of the

physics of acoustical reverberation.

Meet today's most non-bogus

guest speakers.

Say hello to Thomas Edison.

Hello there.

To help us on the musical side:

Johann Sebastian Bach.

And Sir James Martin

of Faith No More...

...founder of the Faith No More

Spiritual and Theological Center.

- Station!

- Station!

And a special treat

from the 23rd century:

Miss Ria Paschelle.

Miss Paschelle is

the inventor of the...

...statiophonicoxygeneticamp-

lifiagraphiphonideliverberator.

Hard to imagine the world

without them, isn't it?

Remember, this Friday, Ben Franklin

and Aretha Franklin will be here.

Saturday is the field trip

to Babylonia. And very important:

Do not do your homework without

wearing headphones...

De Nomolos. My old teacher.

Rufus.

My favorite pupil.

- I thought you were...

- Dead?

No.

Just in preparation.

I worked within the system

until I could stand it no longer.

And soon...

...soon the system

will never have existed.

- You won't get away with it.

- Time will tell.

Time has told.

I'll go back and change that,

with the aid of my secret weapons!

How's it going, dudes?

Friends, friends, friends.

These are automatons.

Replicas only.

Furnished with my agenda.

Now, what is your mission?

- First, we totally kill Bill and Ted.

- Then we take over their lives.

Then we utterly destroy them.

At the Battle of the Bands, we give

their speech except totally different.

And thus a new future is born.

A great future.

Don't tell us.

You programmed us.

- He's totally a robot!

- So are you!

We're total metal heads!

Shut up.

Now.

- What is the fuel?

- Fear!

- What is the engine?

- Discipline!

- What is the ideal?

- Order!

And how do we achieve it?

Death to Bill and Ted!

Catch you later, evil dude.

I am Bill S. Preston...

...Esquire!

This is Ted "Theodore" Logan!

On drums and keyboards...

...celebrating their fifth year

in the 20th century...

...the princesses

from medieval England.

Joanna and Elizabeth.

And we are...

...Wyld Stallyns.

You tell me you're

the greatest band, but you stink.

We don't understand it either.

You can't sing.

- The girls can play. But you guys?

- Girls mature faster than guys.

Plus, they started

in the 15th century.

What do you mean?

- They're from medieval England.

- Ted, shut up.

Medieval England, Iowa.

The Battle of the Bands is

the biggest event in the area.

We're talking

about a $25,000 first prize...

...a two-year record deal and exposure

to people in the business.

We're even live on Channel 12. If you

were me, would you put you guys on?

No way.

Since you work for Pretzels 'N' Cheese,

I'll give you a shot.

Excellent!

But last. Midnight.

By that time, everyone will be gone.

That's all right.

We're used to that.

We cleaned out Ted's brother's

junior high dance.

They turned on "La Bamba"

while he was playing his solo.

Shut up, Ted!

Guys, do yourself a favor.

Prepare a little.

Work on your act.

Think of something.

Don't worry.

We won't let you down.

- Dude, we gotta win.

- Then we could propose to the ladies.

We can't raise a family on the

money from Pretzels 'N' Cheese.

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