Big Momma's House Page #4

Well, we were just on a little vacation.

Middle ofthe night seems|a funny time to go on vacation.

I thought you might have been in trouble.

- How did you know we left at night?|- I didn't.

No, no.

- Big Momma, are you OK?|- Oh, yeah.

Ain't nothin' but some scaldin' pork grease.

- Here. Let's dry you off.|- So what about it, child?

You in trouble? ls there something|you wanna tell Big Momma?

Big Momma, is that duct tape on your face?

Oh, dear! The duct tape.

I guess you're wonderin'|why I got the duct tape.

- It's a beauty secret.|- Really?

Yes. You never used duct tape|to get rid ofthem unsightly hairs?

- No.|- It works particularly well on the bikini area.

- Really?|- No doubt, girl.

The pork chops are on fire.

Big Momma, here!

Who's ready to eat?

We could always run down|to Ring-A-Ding Burger.

Get him a Smiley Meal.

Oh, no, Big Momma. This...

This looks great.

Well, then, eat up. Take you a big old forkful.

Watch it. The plate's hotnow.

I hope I didn'tput too much seasoning salt.

- Would you like me to get that for you?|- No. I got it, Sherry.

Who could it be at this time of night?

Just a second!

I wonder who this could be,

surprisin' me this time of evening.

I say, I wonder who could be|at my door so late at night.

There's my sugar.

You'd better put that nasty-ass tongue|back in your mouth before I rip it out.

Yes, ma'am. My mouth is closed.

But these hands is open for business.

Big Momma, who was it?

Oh, that's just a Bible salesman.

- Sherry, let's go back and finish supper.|- You can run, but you can't hide.

Oh, I'm sorry. Ben Rawley's the name.

- Pleased to meet you.|- Sherry.

- Big Momma, you didn't say you had a man.|- Child, I ain't got no man.

Why, she got every man in town|sniffin' round like dogs.

- I do?|- Do I smell some greens?

- Yeah, come on in. There's plenty.|- Oh, no!

Now, Ben, you know you can't eat no greens.

Greens give you gas somethin' wicked.

Last time I had Ben over for greens,|I had to re-wallpaper.

- Ben, let me show you to your car.|- Wait a minute!

You look different.

- Different?|- You know, I said the same thing.

That face and those eyes. You've changed.

- Changed?|- Yes, ma'am.

You're gettin' younger every day.

Sherry, say good night to Mr Rawley.

Good night. Nice to meet you.

Take it easy, Hattie.

Who the hell do you think you are?

Comin' up here, tryin' to put your|nasty-ass lips on me. I am not street booty.

I will not be treated like street poontang!

Ben, ifyou wanna get with me...

I mean... you will never|get with me! Understand?

And even if I was interested,|which I definitely am not,

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