Behind the Scenes of 'The Last Remake of Beau Geste'
- Year:
- 1977
- 7 min
- 93 Views
The place:
North AfricaThe year:
1906- here...
Legion! Legion!
French foreign legion!
Legion! Legion!
French foreign legion!
Legion! Legion!
French foreign legion!
Legion! Legion!
French foreign legion!
We'll give all off - for France...!
We'll break our balls - for France...!
We're scum and we're
but we'll gladly die,
we'd loose all our legs
or at least an eye,
...with great panache - for France!
...and a little in cash...
...cash, cash, cash,
cash, cash, cash...
We're all for one - for France...!
To die as one - for France...!
We'll torture and maim,
we will kill and be killed,
...for glory and fame
we are really thrilled...
...we're shoving the schmucks
- for France...!
...and a couple of bucks...
...bucks, bucks, bucks,
bucks, bucks, bucks...
So bring on the Arabs,
with sabers and knives,
...we'll murder the men,
and we'll rape all their wives,
...for Liberty! Freedom!
Nobility! Money!
...and then...
...perhaps for a change,
we'll murder the wives...
...and rape all the men...!
...for France...! For France...!
For France!
years earlier - in England
Geste Manor
At last!
At last, Crumble!
A son! A boy to carry on
the family name of Geste.
Geste...
- He shall be a leader of men.
- Men...
- I shall call him "Beau".
- Beau...
- Yes.
- Yes...
- Beau.
- Beau yes...
My boy Beau will be tall
and strong as a tree...
...I know.
- How did that sound to you?
- It sounded like "bye bye, Beau..."
Any news?
Has my son arrived yet...?
Not yet,
but the doctor said any minute.
- Damn blast my sow of a wife, God bless her...
- ...and all who sail in her.
How long does she intend
to keep me waiting?
He's arrived, Sir!
Listen to him crying!
Cowardly little swine.
Is that what he thinks a hero is like?
Bawling like a sissy?
I'll beat some courage into him!
Where are you going Sir?
Out of my way, doctor Crippen!
I want to discipline my son!
- Ahaaa! Before you go in...
...I must tell you...
...I bear both good tidings
and bad tidings.
First...
...your wife is dead.
- And the bad tidings...?
Your son...
...is...
...a daughter!
A daughter ?!
I have no requirements
for a daughter!
You incompetent fool,
I gave you precise instructions!
I want a boy!
BOYS:
ORPHANAGE:
ADOPTIONS ARRANGED
better establishment, Sir Hector.
All my dear boys here,
blessed,
they practice what I preach.
brotherly love, self denial,
and onto others.
They don't each onto other,
Sir Hector.
You cannot stop the pretty dears.
Now then, Sir Hector, what kind
of a boy was you looking for?
We have all manner here, you know;
high and low degree.
Will you stop that, you
vicious little varmint?!
Now this is a scruffy lot...
...won't do, won't do, won't do...
...and he looks jewish!
I want a soldier, not a dentist!
To be frank with you,
Miss Wormwood,
...I'm looking for something...
...a little more stylish.
You see,
my son has to be a hero.
For the right boy I'm prepared
to pay handsomly,...
...he's got to be tall,
...blond,
must have an aristocratic bearing,
...and the necessary blue eyes,
...a lad to whom I can confidently
bequeath my own noble features.
I shall eventually need him to
reach a height of six feet one,
And naturally he will be brought up...
...with an english gentleman's
attitude and love of slaughter.
That seems to cover the essentials.
Why, you're wheezing, Woodward!
Let's proceed slowly.
That's him.
That's Beau.
Beau Geste!
You are Beau Geste.
No Sir,
my name is Obediah Spittle.
No...
You were Obediah Spittle.
But now...
...you are...
...Beau Geste!
I am Beau Geste.
- Wrap him up.
- Oh, I couldn't, Sir Hector!
He's like my own son!
- I give you five guineas.
- My own son sold for six!
Tell you what I'll do: make it twelve,
and I'll throw in his identical twin brother.
Two sons? Two heroes?
I'll take them both.
Digby!
Say hello to your new papa...
I can't split the pair...!
And so began a new life for us.
Together with Sir Hector's daughter,
Isabel, we became Gestes;
The days flew quickly by...
We were identical twins.
But somehow, Beau was
much more identical then me.
Isabel adored Beau.
He seemed to feel nothing;
but then, heroes aren't allowed feelings.
It was as if I felt his feelings for him.
Beau's destiny was never in doubt.
and a Viking's funeral.
That's the way I'd like to go, Dig.
Dig, will you set fire to me,
and bury me at sea...?
Well... alright.
But not until you're dead!
- Beau, you won't go and die before me?
- Of course not, Dig.
We're inseparable, aren't we?
Geste et Geste
nil separatum est.
Rear march!
Right turn!
Rear march!
Beau was tought to be a soldier.
He learned to give commands.
And, as for me, well...
...I learned to obey them.
Our life at Geste Manor
concluded as usual.
...Until that fateful night,
when Sir Hector announced...
Beau!
Isabel!
I have wonderful news!
England has been plunged headlong
into a bloody and disastrous war!
- Where is this war, Sir?
How the hell should I know?
My vallet has the orders.
the stench of blood...
How it titillates these jaded nostrils!
I suppose I'm just an old
fashioned sentimentalist...
Beau, come with me, I want you to
watch what I'm doing very carefully.
Excuse me, Your Majesty.
One day, you'll have
to do this yourself.
Twenty-nine on right boob...
...and three twiddles on the left.
This is the legendary
"Blue Water" sapphire of the Gestes.
I have seen the Hope diamond...
...I have feasted my eyes
upon the Koh-I-Noor...
Compared to this perfection,
they are pieces of sh*t.
Beau, this priceless gem is the
foundation of the Geste fortune.
Guard it until I return.
Beau grew into the full
stature of his manhood.
I got older.
Sunday!
Day of rest.
And what of the lovely Isabel?
She practiced and practiced, and
became an accomplished virgin.
Always so damn timid, Dig.
Really come at me, eh?
Beau couldn't help being a hero,
Nature cast him for the part.
Physically he was perfect.
As his identical twin,
I must have been perfect too.
Only, it didn't show so much on me...
Are you all right, old sport?
I think so, yes.
Stop it, stop it! I think I
discovered another movie clich!
What does it say?
Sudan relieved!
One hundred thousand
english lives lost!
Forty-five thousand
French die!
England wins by fifty-five
thousand! Hooray!
Drive on!
Look! It's the coach!
- Isabel!
- Oh, father!
Digby...
- Beau!
- Father!
Children, I have a surprise,
a very pleasant one for you.
I want you to meet
lady Flavia Geste...
...your new mother!
We got married this morning.
Maman...
...of course this will have to go.
Yes, I must refurbish
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"Behind the Scenes of 'The Last Remake of Beau Geste'" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 2 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/behind_the_scenes_of_'the_last_remake_of_beau_geste'_12280>.
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