Beethoven's Christmas Adventure Page #4

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You know that cell phone store down the street?

They've got a guy out front dressed as a cell phone.

Only it's Christmas and we don't sell cell phones.

So l figured...

Ow! Ah!

Shut up. First of all,

you're an idiot.

Second of all,

you're an idiot.

Third of all, look around.

Business is doing just fine.

ln fact, this might be my best scam

since "Most Wanted Mopeds."

Ooh! Or even "Most Wanted

Kitchen Appliances."

ln fact, l think

it might be time

for another one of our midnight shopping sprees.

(BOTH LAUGHlNG)

Okay, you hit Toy

Bonanza on Route 30.

They should be

restocked by now.

And l'll check out Oy What A

Toy on Nazareth Boulevard.

And take that

stupid costume off!

You look ridiculous.

The woman at

the Halloween store...

Who charged you $40.

...said l looked

fashionably festive.

Mmm.

No. A cheap

knock-off, at best.

Hey!

Sorry, everyone,

we're closing a bit early today.

Please take your purchases to the

check-out counter now. (LAUGHlNG)

That's right, move along.

(CHRlSTMAS JlNGLE PLAYlNG)

Elves wear tights

and elves wear tunics

Elves are Santa's

little eunuchs

Freaks of nature.

(TlRES SCREECHlNG)

What the...

lnconsiderates!

Leaving their junk right in the middle of the street.

(SCREAMlNG)

That's twice in one day

with the same foot!

What the heck

is in here anyway?

Toys.

What?

What the...

(LAUGHS)

Groovy.

(EXCLAlMS)

l'll be ho, ho, hoed!

(DlALlNG ON CELL PHONE)

KENNY:
Most Wanted Toys,

may I help you?

Yeah.

Cancel the toy ride!

Okay.

l think l just found a whole new source of inventory.

Whatever you say, boss.

(LAUGHS)

(DOG BARKlNG)

What are you looking at?

Finders, keepers!

(BARKS)

(WHlMPERS)

(WHlMPERS)

(TlRES SQUEALlNG)

(WHlMPERS AGAlN)

HENRY:
Mmm.

So this is

called pizza?

(WHlMPERS)

lt's delicious! l mean,

it could use a little bit more nutmeg,

but, hey,

everything could use a little bit more nutmeg.

(LAUGHS)

So, what do you guys

eat at the North Pole?

Well, mostly

milk and cookies

'cause, you know, Santa

draws up the menu and...

Um, how about the lnternet?

Do you guys have that?

We have the Winternet.

Freezes up a lot, though.

Uh, do you guys

go to school?

We are supposed to,

but every day is a snow day.

(LAUGHS)

Holy...

(BARKS)

You know,

l have to admit l thought you would be shorter.

Yeah, it's a common

misconception,

but l'm pretty average

as far as elf-sizes go.

l am member of

the National Association

for the Advancement

of Larger Elves.

What else do we have wrong?

Do elves really make toys?

Uh...

Well, yeah,

all of us do like...

We wouldn't be elves if we didn't make toys, right?

What about the whole talking-to-animals thing?

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