Barney's Version Page #5

Everyone toasts. Barney's eyes light up as he leaps fromhis chair to greet -

BARNEY:

BOOGIE!

EVERYONE:

Boogie/Welcome back!!

BOOGIE, Barney's best and most cherished friend. Tall and

lean, he possesses a physical and intellectual magnetismthat enchants everyone who meets him. He has a stunning girl(THE COUNTESS) on his arm.

Boogie is greeted by all and handed some wine. Cedric makes

it a point to introduce himself to The Countess.

CEDRIC:

I'm Cedric.

COUNTESS/MARIA

Maria.

(flirtatious)

You look familiar to me.

CEDRIC:

I'm an actor.

MARIA:

I knew it. You look like a movie

star.

WHITE 10-23-09 13.

The Countess then slides up to Boogie, whispers something inhis ear, kisses him deeply, then walks off to the bathroom.

Her exquisite beauty silences them all.

CEDRIC:

Who is that?

BOOGIE:

Ah, the Countess. A descendant of

Giuseppe Garibaldi, no less.

LEO:

Where did you meet her?

BOOGIE:

Somewhere between my blackout inLake Como and my hangover in Ste-

Maxime. If you could find out ANDget her name, that would be great.

But enough about that, I want to

hear about all of you. Leo, how wasyour showing at Galerie Des Points?

The silence around the table indicates - "not so good".

BARNEY:

His work is too bold for that crowd.

LEO:

The show was a bust. I only soldone piece - to Barney.

Barney holds up the painting to show Boogie.

CEDRIC:

Barney - our very own patron of thearts. Otherwise known as our onlyfriend with a real job.

Everyone toasts.

BOOGIE:

(to Barney)

And so, my High Priest, did you getthrough those books I sent you?

BARNEY:

A few of them.

BOOGIE:

Only a few? I sent them months ago.

What have you been doing with yourself?

BARNEY:

Well, actually, I'm getting married.

WHITE 10-23-09 14.

BOOGIE:

What?! To who?

CLARA (O.S.)

To me.

Boogie turns around to find CLARA CHAMBERS (26), tall, skinny,

pale and beautiful, gypsy shawl and skirt. Three months

pregnant, and slightly showing at her belly. She downs a

shot of Grappa and lights a cigarette as she sits.

CLARA (CONT'D)

Prince Charmingbaum here knocked meup by way of a magical thirty secondsof friction.

BARNEY:

Where have you been? You didn't

come home last night.

CLARA:

Who remembers?

(to Boogie)

Has he told you what he's doing now?

Exporting olive oil to some guy,

Hymie back in Montreal. It's like a

bad Jewish sitcom.

BARNEY:

Someone needs to make a living.

CLARA:

He comes to Europe and sells oil.

It's f***ing humiliating. You're

not one of us. You're a voyeur-

BOOGIE:

Okay, A toast to the newlyweds! To

your health, your happiness-

CLARA:

(at Barney)

And a three inch prick.

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