America's Sweethearts

Synopsis: In the midst of a nasty public breakup of married movie stars, a studio publicist scrambles to put a cap on the escalating situation as the couple's latest film has found its only print kidnapped by the director.
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): Joe Roth
Production: Columbia Pictures
  1 win & 2 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
102 min

America first fell in love with|Eddie Thomas and Gwen Harrison... the box-office smash|Autumn with Greg and Peg.

They had the most celebrated marriage|in Hollywood.

Who could forget|how they hit one out of the park... Requiem for an Outfielder?

You can't die, Mike. You can't.

Because I love you.

Justice never tasted so sweet... in The Bench.

I didn't do it. I'm innocent.|Why won't anyone believe me?

-I object, Your Honour!|-You're out of order!

No, you are out of order sir!

I object to the way|my client has been treated.

I object to the fact that I've let|my professional judgment...

...become clouded by my feelings|for my client.

I object to the way the room seems to spin|whenever she walks into it.

I object, Your Honour,|because I love this woman.

Their love opened our eyes... Sasha and the Optometrist.

Read from the top line, Sasha.






Dr. Martin!

Eddie Thomas and Gwen Harrison:

America's Sweethearts.

God, they were great. Made my job cake.

I did the press for all their movies, all nine.|Six did over $100 million.

They were on top of the world.

Then she blew it|by taking up with that Spaniard.

-Did you cut this yourself?|-No, Chad in marketing--

Always take credit.|That is survival rule number one.

Okay, I did it on my Mac.

Rule number two:
Don't take credit|until someone actually says they like what you did.

It's not bad.

I hope this isn't too awkward for you.

-I'll never be able to fill your shoes.|-I know.

Kingman's in the screening room and he|wants you to look at something right now.

Please remind Mr. Kingman|that he fired me last week.

Then invite him, at his earliest|convenience, to kiss my undercarriage.

I think you'll wanna see this Lee.

-Hello, Dave.|-Lee.

-Thank you for coming.|-Why am I here?

I'm just confused. I mean, you did actually fire me|last week, so why am I here?

I brought you to see the new Weidmann film.


Eddie and Gwen's last movie.|You know their movies better than anybody

Have you seen it? All of it? How is it?

Could you roll that, please.

I want you to be the first to see|what only I have seen. As a friend.

Something wrong?

-Did the film break?|-No.

The film is fine.|I think it's fine, wherever it is.

I spent 86 million dollars...

...of the studio's money...

...on 20 seconds...

...of titles.

That's all he sent me. The titles!

And a note.

"Dave, we could also do these in blue."

-We had to make a Hal Weidmann picture!|-He's won three Oscars. He's a genius.

There's only been one genius|in this business: Seor Wences!

A little lipstick, some hair and his hand!|He had an career for 85 years!

Do you remember?

"S'all right! S'all right!"|Don't talk to me about genius.

-Remember the crazy guy in the woods?|-Ted Kaczynski.

-Who? The guy at Fox?|-The Unabomber.

The Unabomber.|Remember he lived in that little cabin?


Hal Weidmann bought that cabin|from the government...

...and had it moved onto his property.

That is where he edits his movies.

That is his little, twisted...

...sicko office.

It's him. On the phone.


I'm going to kill him!|That sick, son-of-a-b*tch bastard.

Put him on the speaker.

Hi, Hal.

How are you, darling?

I've been thinking about you.|I wanted to send you a basket or something.

How's the movie?

-It's finding its way.|-Could it find its way to the studio?

We have a few little things to do with it,|like finish it.

It's finished, Dave.

Great. How is it?

My mother thinks|it's the best thing I've ever done.

-Can I speak with her, Hal?|-No, Dave.

-Can we send someone to pick it up?|-No, Dave.

You haven't said anything about the titles.

I love them. I have no notes.

When's the press junket?

Weekend of the 21st. Why?

'cos I want the press to be first to see it.

I'll bring it to the junket.|We'll all experience it together.

Hal, no. I'm the head of the studio.|I don't experience things with the press.

I'm hanging up now.

Wait! Give me that. Hello?

No, no.


...damn it!

He won't let us see it before the press!

-At the junket?|-Yes, at the junket!

-No, no.|-Lee.

You've got to do this junket.

You want me to set up a junket in 2 weeks,|and you're not sure if you have the film.



Don't make me beg.

-You already are.|-Lee, please.

Please, come on. Lee?

-Danny can handle it.|-No, Lee.

Danny cannot handle it.|It's his first junket.

I need the master. When working|with the press, you're a legend.

I prefer to remain a living legend.

If you won't do it for me,|do it for my father.

You worked together a long time.|You had a real bond.

Your father was a psychotic.

-You spoke at his funeral.|-I loved him. You, I can't stand.

Do this for me. Please.

The studio will go under.|I haven't had a hit in almost two years!

I have the last Eddie and Gwen movie ever made|and I can't get my hands on it!

Tell me what you want.|I'll tell you what I want.

I want only one thing.

If people think Eddie and Gwen|are back together, they'll see the movie.

-Make that happen.|-That'll be easy.

Just make it look like it could happen.

She has a restraining order against him,|and he flipped out.

He's living in some nut hut|in the mountains.

I don't care! I need Eddie and Gwen|back together again, smiling and happy!

-We can sell the sh*t out of it.|-And the Spaniard?

Unless I get a script called|I Schtupped Castro, I don't know.

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Billy Crystal

William Edward Crystal (born March 14, 1948) is an American actor, writer, producer, director, comedian, and television host. He gained prominence in the 1970s for playing Jodie Dallas on the ABC sitcom Soap and became a Hollywood film star during the late 1980s and 1990s, appearing in the critical and box office successes When Harry Met Sally... (1989), City Slickers (1991), and Analyze This (1999) and providing the voice of Mike Wazowski in the Monsters, Inc. franchise. He has hosted the Academy Awards nine times, beginning in 1990 and most recently in 2012. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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