All About 'Abigail's Party'

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(DOG BARKS)

(CARS RACE BY)

# I love to love you, baby

# I love to love you, baby

# I love to love you, baby

# I love to love you, baby

# I love to love you, baby

# When you're laying so close to me

# There's no place I'd rather you be

than with me here

# I love to love you, baby

# I love to love you, baby

# I love to love you, baby

# Do it to me again and again

# You put me in such an awful spin

In a spin

# Oh

# I love to love you, baby

# I love to love you, baby

# I love to love you, baby

# Lay your head down real close to me... #

- All right?

- Fine.

- You're late.

- Sorry?

(TURNS VOLUME DOWN)

- I said, "You're late".

- Sorry about that. Unavoidable.

- What happened?

- Some clients were late.

Laurence, don't leave your bag there, please.

I'll move it in a minute.

- Did you eat?

- No.

No? I had to throw your pizza away. I'm sorry.

# Oh, love to love you, baby

# When you're laying so close to me

# There's no place I'd rather you be

than with me here

# Oh, love to love you, baby... #

47-3-4-1.

I've got to make a couple of phone calls.

Do you want me to make a sandwich?

Not at the moment.

I must get these out the way.

Laurence, you want to have your bath.

They'll be here soon.

- Come on!

- Laurence, you'll get heartburn!

Mr O'Haligan? Mr Moss here, Wibbly Webb.

Where's that key to 15 Clittingham Avenue?

You were supposed to have it back before lunch.

That's no good, I need it now.

Will you be in in the morning?

Tonight? Where?

Belfast? What time's your plane?

All right, train, then.

What? A party?

I thought you said you were going to Belfast?

All right, what time are you going to Kilburn?

What time are you having your bath?

I'm not asking you to bath in cold water!

I just want the key to 15 Clittingham Avenue.

Yes!

What? All right, I WILL come and get it.

- Now.

- Laurence, no!

Yes, I do know how to get there.

OK, I'll see you shortly. Goodbye.

...That stupid man!

- Oh, Christ, Laurence!

- What?

- How long's this going to take, please?

- I'm sorry.

It won't take long.

Did you get those lagers?

Er, no, I didn't have time.

Laurence!

Get them when you go out,

and don't forget, please.

Hello, Mrs Cushing?

Laurence Moss here, Wibbly Webb.

Yes, we've finally run him to ground.

You'll be happy to know

I'm in the throes of retrieving the key.

Not at all, not at all. All part of the service!

Yeah, surely. When would be best for you?

No, no. I'll fall in with you, Mrs Cushing.

- What about tomorrow morning?

- Laurence!

My pleasure, Mrs Cushing.

What time suits you best?

No, I am at your service, Mrs Cushing.

He who pays the piper calls the tune.

You name the hour, I shall appear.

No, really, I insist. Now, what time?

- Eight o'clock?

- Laurence!

Early? No, not at all, no.

Up with the lark, you know!

Yes.

Don't mention it, Mrs Cushing. My privilege.

See you tomorrow morning, then.

Yes... Bye now!

- You'll kill yourself, you know, Laurence.

- Yes. It can't be helped.

Ridiculous.

- It's not a nine to five job, you know, Beverly.

- You can say that again!

- Gonna get changed?

- Oh, yes.

I'll drink this, I'll get changed, and then I'll go out.

And don't forget those lagers.

- Beverly, where are the olives?

- In the kitchen, Laurence.

Laurence, if you want olives,

would you put them out?

(DOORBELL)

- Oh, no, they're early!

- No, they're not. And you're not changed.

Yes, I know that.

Beverly, get the olives.

- Hello, you must be Laurence.

- That's right.

- I'm Angie.

- Do go in, won't you?

Thanks. This is my husband, Tony.

- How do you do?

- Hello.

- Hi, Ange!

- Hello, Beverly.

- Oh, what a lovely dress!

- Thanks.

- Were we meant to wear long?

- No, no, it's just informal.

This is my husband, Tony.

- How do you do? Pleased to meet you.

- How do you do?

He's got a firm handshake, hasn't he? Fantastic.

- Like to come through?

- Mmm.

Angela... Tony.

This is the suite I was telling you about.

- It's nice, isn't it?

- Lovely.

- Drink?

- Yes, please.

- Laurence, would you take Angela's coat?

- Surely.

- Thanks.

- Pleasure.

It's funny, he's a lot bigger than I thought he was.

I've seen him across the road and thought he was

the same size as Laurence, but he's a lot bigger.

- Like a drink?

- Yes, please.

- What would you like?

- Bacardi, please.

- Ice and lemon?

- Please.

- Angela?

- Gin?

- Gin and tonic?

- Please.

- Ice and lemon?

- Yes, please.

Laurence, would you get the drinks?

Tony would like Bacardi with ice and lemon.

Angela would like gin and tonic,

ice and lemon and I'd like a fill up. OK?

- Fine.

- Thanks.

- Like lager, Tony?

- I'm OK with Bacardi, thanks.

No, as a chaser, a bit later.

Laurence is going to get some.

- OK, thank you.

- Or a light ale. Which do you prefer?

- Light ale.

- Light ale? Laurence, get some light ales too.

Yes.

Ange, it's going to be really nice tonight.

I've invited Sue from Number 9.

- Oh, lovely.

- I thought it would be nice for you to meet her.

Her daughter's having a party. So I said,

"Pop down and spend the evening with us."

That'll be really nice,

'cause I want to meet all the neighbours.

Just say hello, Ange, and break the ice.

That was what was so nice when you came over,

'cause it really made me feel at home.

Yeah, it's funny Ange, as soon as we met

I knew we were gonna get on.

Mmm. Well, we're alike, aren't we?

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