Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore

ALICE:
Wait. No, wait. I can do that better.

I can sing better than Alice Faye.

ALICE:
I swear to Christ I can.

MOTHER:
Allie!

Allie!

Alice Graham, you get in this house...

before I beat the living daylights

out of you. Do you hear me?

You wait and see.

And if anybody doesn't like it,

they can blow it out their ass.

DONALD:
Alice!

DONALD:
For God's sake,

do something about that kid!

Turn that damn thing down!

I'm sorry, Don.

Now keep it off.

You're going to drive us deaf.

Do you want me to have a fight with him?

ALICE:
How are we to have

a meaningful family relationship...

when he's on the verge of killing you

half the time?

And why do we have to have

Mott the Hoople 24 hours a day?

Maybe if I had a Kitty Kallen record.

Kitty....

Am I lucky?

I don't know. I'm an okay sort of person.

How did I get such a smart-ass kid?

You got pregnant.

The mouth. The mouth on him.

Honey, dinner will be ready

in about 30 minutes.

DONALD:
Whatever you say.

You're the cook.

Come on and help me clear up the table.

What are you doing on the floor, kid?

Act like you got good sense.

TOMMY:
Thanks a lot.

Harold wasn't home.

Good. You're just in time

for some peach shortcake.

DONALD:
Let him finish dinner first.

ALICE:
He doesn't want any more.

But he wants that old sugar crap,

don't he?

I hope this is good, now.

Alice, what the hell have you done

to the coffee?

I didn't do anything to the coffee.

Doesn't it taste good?

It tastes like hell.

Mine tastes all right.

Oh, God, it's salty.

-You think that's supposed to be funny?

-What do you mean?

You know what I mean.

What the hell did you do to the sugar?

What?

Don't lie to me, boy.

It's not sugar. It's salt!

ALICE:
Donald!

DONALD:
That's okay, boy.

That's okay. You run.

I'll save it for you. When you get back,

you're going to drink it!

See how you like it.

Alice, if you'd show a little respect

around here, it just may rub off on him.

Socorro sucks!

Watch your head.

GROCER:
You're sure laying the money out

for meat. Company coming?

No, my husband hates me.

I'm trying to get him

to chase me around the bedroom.

Tommy, do you want to give the thanks

this evening?

No, thank you.

Father, make us truly humble

and thankful...

for these and all the other blessings.

We realize that all good things

come from you.

In the name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.

Amen.

I made the lamb the way you like it.

-Is it good?

-It's okay.

Irene Payson got back from Denver today.

Said she had a real good time.

She did? Well, what all did she do?

Let's see. She went to visit her family.

Then she went to this mountain resort,

and she did a whole lot of shopping.

Do you like it?

I hate lamb.

Right.

What are you watching?

I don't know.

Is it a movie?

Looks like one to me.

Is it any good?

I don't know. I just turned it on.

BEA:
Don't move.

ALICE:
You make me laugh.

BEA:
Sorry.

Don't make it too tight.

I got to be able to sit.

BEA:
Don't I know? I know.

ALICE:
All right.

I thought he was going to kill Tommy

this morning. I really did.

Yeah, I heard him yelling.

He sure sounded mean.

He's not mean. He's just....

You know, he gets so....

I don't know.

He just gets so loud sometimes.

I sure couldn't live without

some kind of man around the house.

ALICE:
I could.

BEA:
And neither could you.

Yes, I could. Easy.

-No, you couldn't.

-Easy.

Could be just as happy

if I never saw one again, ever.

Of course, it might be different if I ever,

you know....

If I met a man like Robert Redford,

that could be different.

I'll bet it's different.

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