A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas

Oh, ha, ha. Well,

I'll definitely be getting you that bicycle.

And I'll see what I can do about

your parents' ugly divorce, Caren.

All right. Merry Christmas!

- Who's next?

- Santa!

Kumar, no! Merry...

Back of the line, tech support!

- Is this a joke?

- Hold the f*ck on.

Your son can rub his ass

on Santa's cock in a minute.

- What do you want for Christmas?

- That's a really good question.

- Snoopy Sno-cone Machine.

- Done.

- And a DeLorean.

- Yes.

Wu-Tang to get back together.

I'll tell the elves.

This is just for my stockings.

- For my present...

- Hey!

Meet me at my sleigh

in half an hour, okay?

You got it. Merry Christmas, Santa.

- Ooh. Bong.

- Oh!

Right in the sugar plums.

Okay. On the menu today, we have:

Winter Wonder Weed.

We have Rudolph

the Red-Eyed Reindeer.

Oh, it's a Weederful Life.

God, does everything have

to be about Christmas?

Hey, some people like the holidays.

I had Hanukkah Hash, but the kids from

Temple Shalom Immanuel cleaned me out.

What is this? "Kwanzaa Cookout."

A little more expensive.

This is like Duvalier Dank from October.

- I'll take it.

- Oh. Hello, gentlemen.

Mm.

- Shit.

- What?

You have anything to smoke out of?

Wall Street sucks! Wall Street sucks!

Wall Street sucks! Wall Street sucks!

Ah, Mr. Lee? I'm here.

Wait...

...more protesters?

Do they really think we care

what poor people think?

Kenneth, it's Christmas.

They're out of work. You'd be upset too.

Let's see how you did

on your assignment.

I think I found the absolute best gift

for your father-in-law.

And, Mr. Lee, I think you're

gonna be really pleased.

Ow.

Oh, my God.

Hi.

This is a Sharp...

...52" Aquos Quattron TV...

...with state-of-the-art 3D technology...

...that makes Avatar look Avatar-ded.

I don't know. Hasn't the 3D thing

jumped the shark by now?

Mr. Lee, you don't understand.

This is the best 3D you've ever seen.

It's gonna be amazing!

Who are you looking at?

Mr. Lee!

Want me to call you a cab...

...a town car, a limo? It's not safe...

...out there.

- No, thanks, Kenneth.

I got a buddy picking me up.

One more thing!

Merry Christmas to you...

...Harold, and Happy New Year!

Hey, over there.

We got another one.

Don't worry, Mr. Lee. I'll distract them.

Hey...

...angry protesters!

I just got a huge Christmas bonus...

...so you can suck my rich, yellow...

...dick!

Get him!

Dude!

Open the door!

Unh. Thank God you're here.

I thought those hippies

were gonna kill you.

Shoo! Shoo! Shoo, shoo, shoo!

Just drive. Todd, drive.

No, no, no! No, no, no!

Oh, great.

Now we're getting tinkled on.

- It's just urine. It'll wash out.

- Oh, Harry.

Tinkle on the windshield

is the grossest thing...

...that has ever happened to me.

Ugh.

It smells like shit in here.

Hey...

...neighbor.

- Hey, man.

All right.

Check it. Remember that hot virgin

I met on the internet? Get this:

She wants me...

...to deflower her.

Tonight. Christmas Eve.

At a party she's throwing

in Manhattan. Best part:

- You're coming with me.

- No can do, man.

I gotta stay here and smoke this weed,

otherwise I won't get high.

Why not ask your roommate?

Because you're the best.

I don't wanna go with him.

I already asked him. He said no.

He's spending Christmas...

...with his stupid girlfriend.

Mm. This is what happens.

They get a girlfriend...

...then they get married...

...then you never hear from them again.

F*ck it, I'm in.

Yes.

Wow, the Jewish neighbors

must hate this.

Well, Harry. Harry.

You have outdone yourself.

If you knew Maria's dad...

...you'd pull out all the stops too.

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