A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy Page #6

This is why I didn't tell you. If things were

OK between us, this wouldn't bother you.

But you're so vulnerable,

and they'll be here all weekend,

- and we don't sleep together any more...

- Oh! Not so loud.

- And she's so beautiful...

- Oh...

That's a simple fact.

A blind man could see that.

Adrian, I love you. I was never in love with

Ariel Weymouth and I don't love her now.

Hey, trust me.

(Maxwell)

So how did you and Leopold meet?

(Ariel) We were both tourists

at St Peter's in Rome.

(Maxwell) You picked her up

at the Vatican?

(Ariel) My whole life I wanted

to see the Sistine Chapel ceiling.

(Leopold) I met her in

the basilica before a madonna.

I couldn't resist the impulse

to speak to this heavenly creature.

(Ariel) Leopold's an expert on Italian art.

(Leopold) I had the privilege of escorting

Ariel through the Sistine Chapel

and explaining to her exactly why

Michelangelo's ceiling was indeed great.

(Ariel) When Raphael first

laid eyes on it, he fainted.

(Maxwell) Had he eaten?

(Mendelssohn's

"Violin Concerto in E Minor")

- To summer.

- To summer

(Leopold) "The spring, the summer,

The childing autumn,

angry winter, change

Their wonted liveries."

OK. Try something else.

- Got it.

- Can I stop now?

Do you remember these woods at all?

Do you remember the bridge down there?

Of course. It was one of the most

beautiful summer nights I'd ever seen.

It was very romantic.

I think about that night all the time.

- No, really?

- Yeah.

And when I do, I want to kill you.

Kill you or myself, but much more you.

What for?

Do you have any idea

how much I lusted after you?

Why didn't you do something?

I wanted you to.

You were this diplomat's daughter,

raised by nuns.

I was shy. We were not in love.

It was pure animal lust.

- That's just what I was in the mood for.

- I know. I missed an opportunity.

I've regretted it ever since.

That's the saddest thing in life,

a missed opportunity.

And particularly rotten in this case

because after you left,

a month after you went to Europe,

I learned that you were, and had been,

sleeping with everyone. Everyone!

Not everyone.

Well, maybe it was everyone.

I wouldn't have been the first,

I'd have been the 21st.

Writers, bankers, poets, the entire

infield of the Chicago White Sox.

You have to admit, I wasn't one of

your shrinking, mousy, inhibited virgins.

- The understatement of the century.

- Did you want me to take charge?

- You didn't act like you wanted anything.

- I was used to slower women.

Adrian and I had no sex

till we were married.

Why are we rehashing all this? Huh?

It's over. We're two older people now.

By tomorrow this time, I'll be married too.

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