A Birder's Guide to Everything Page #5

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[ Chuckles ]

Thank you.

[ Classical ]

[ Peter ] All right, so given the

expected speed of the labrador duck...

[ Continues ] the bird will be

forced to rest in this 15-mile radius...

encompassing Cedar Lake

at Cockaponset.

Okay, well, I'm putting my money

on Cockaponset.

And not just because it has

the word "cock" in it.

Well, I still maintain

it's a long shot at best,

but as places go,

it is more likely than most.

On the transportation front, my cousin

Eric said he'd loan me some wheels.

He did? -Yeah.

He's a cool guy. He likes me a lot.

[ Doorbell rings ] Hey, isn't your dad

getting married this weekend?

Yep.

This is way more important.

[ Juliana ] David?

- Yeah?

David--

oh, hi, boys!

- Hello, Mrs. Santos.

- Juliana-- oww.

David,

there's somebody here to see you.

A girl from your school,

I think.

- Go on in, hon.

[ Ellen ] Thank you.

[ CLASSICAL:
Off ]

You stole the lens?

- Preposterous.

- What's "Project Anus"?

Anas. Okay?

And it's none of your business.

Just give me the lens.

And what evidence do you have of

this alleged theft of this alleged lens?

Well, it was there earlier

this afternoon.

I gave him the keys, he went

into the lab, and then it was gone.

Circumstantial. -It's sitting

right next to you.

- Oh, damn it, Peter!

- Oh, my god.

Have you ever heard of

a labrador duck?

I still don't get why

it's called Project Anus.

- Anas!

[ David ] It's Latin for "duck."

- You guys speak Latin?

- Yeah. Sometimes.

You could come

with us.

This would seriously be

the first photo of this extinct duck?

Yeah.

Definitely.

If I come,

I'm taking the picture.

No, you're not. Okay?

That's not a possibility.

- Take it or leave it.

- We'll take it.

When do we leave? -7:00 AM.

From Timmy's cousin's house.

25 Southridge Drive.

Cool.

Where the hell

did that come from?

She made me nervous.

Okay?

On the flip side, one or possibly more

of us will get some action this weekend.

- Most likely be me.

[ David ] Nope. Not going to happen.

Hey.

Need some help?

I got it.

- Just help him, Donnie.

- Yeah.

- Where you going?

- Timmy's.

- Huh.

- Sleeping over tonight.

You know, uh,

I'm getting married... Tomorrow.

I'll be back

in plenty of time.

Yeah, uh--

Come on, Dad.

It's important. I gotta go.

All right--

okay.

Okay. Okay.

I know I'm supposed to give you

your grieving space.

Don't quote

Dr. Schultz.

It's just, you know,

the rehearsal is at 10:00 AM.

- Rehearsal?

- Yeah.

The rehearsal is walking from one side

of the lawn to the other. Right?

[ Sighs ]

Okay, Dave, com--

Time out.

You know? I-I--

All right, I know. I get that it's

all gotta seem pretty weird to you.

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