A Birder's Guide to Everything Page #4

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Which means you need

to get a move on.

The labrador is closely related

to sea ducks such as eiders.

It's probably heading north,

maybe even migrating with scoters.

Now, the good news

for you is...

That it'll be attracted to

the largest inland bodies of water...

before

it hits the coast.

My guess is it'll be in southern

Connecticut by sun fall tomorrow.

So you think it's actually possible

to find it again?

I do. But I must warn you,

I love the chase.

I don't know whether

you've read my memoir--

Look To The Skies.

I've read it five times. -[ Chuckles ]

Then I don't need

to tell you...

that I spent 15 months

in Ecuador...

tracking the pale-headed

brush-finch,

only to learn that it was a mere

white-headed brush-finch.

If I had faced facts

a few days earlier,

you'd be looking

at a man with--

[ Tapping ]

two legs.

I won't deny it. I'm starting to get

very jealous of you lads.

We have, um, modern european

history class in 25 minutes.

Fair enough.

Well, do keep me informed.

Never hesitate to call.

Oh, and one piece of advice

from an old twitcher--

get yourselves a better camera,

one with a strong telephoto lens.

Having the wrong gear is precisely

why this photo is ultimately useless.

Good luck, gentlemen.

Dr. Konrad.

Mr. Konrad?

Could you,

um, s-sign my book?

- First edition.

- Yeah.

"Portnoy."

Was your mother

Dorothy Portnoy?

Y-you know my mother?

Of course.

Back in

the '80s and '90s,

she helped pioneer

the use of marine radar...

to predict

migrant fall-outs.

She was a real unsung hero

of birding.

That must have been

awful.

I'm deeply sorry

for your loss.

[ Pen scratching

on paper ]

- Why?

- It's way too intense.

I'm sorry, but this would take

an official YBS vote, guys.

[ Sighs ] Okay.

Move to discuss.

Um, second.

All right, the chair recognizes

Timothy Barsky.

Thank you.

Mr. Chairman, Mr. Portnoy.

Simply put,

we must find this bird.

I think it could represent

a new hope for YBS,

which frankly is

on the brink of collapse.

I think with

the right publicity,

the sighting of a labrador duck

could boost membership...

and the three of us

could reap untold rewards,

fame-wise, money-wise

and vagina-wise.

Thank you.

That's all, Mr. Chairman.

I concur.

Move to vote.

Second.

All in favor of searching

for the extinct labrador duck?

[ Both ]

Yea.

All opposed?

Nay.

Motion passes

two to one.

- I'll draw up the budget.

- You don't have to.

I want to.

- Yeah?

- Hey, uh--

I left something

in the lab yesterday.

Oh. Okay.

I'm Ellen,

by the way.

What?

We're in a class together,

so I'm telling you who I am.

Oh.

Oh, hi.

Hi. There you go.

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