A Birder's Guide to Everything Page #2

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For reference, I cite the alleged

sun grebe last summer.

I didn't have a picture-- -With all due

respect, there's a credibility gap here.

Mr. Barsky?

While I appreciate the spirit

of David's proposal--

a rare bird sighting certainly could

reverse sinking membership.

But in my opinion

I think we should stick to

more aggressive recruitment strategies,

like getting a hang glider.

- Thank you.

- That's all, Mr. Chairman.

- All for finding David's duck?

- Yea.

All opposed?

[ Both ] Nay.

The motion is defeated

by a vote of two to one.

[ Snaps ]

Damn it.

[ Dog barking ]

[ Dad ]

Dave?

Dave, is that you?

Come up here.

- Hey.

- Hey.

So I've got everything kinda

sorted out into three main groups.

Uh, save, throw,

charity.

You got something on your lip.

What's that? -Nothing.

Pen exploded.

Wait.

Are you kidding?

I thought I'd save

the good ones.

Mom worked really hard

for all of these.

Okay, well, yeah, you're right.

I don't know what I was thinking.

Of course we'll keep that.

What's this?

[ Sighs ]

The blender?

You know what?

Juliana's got a really nice blender.

I was thinking

we could give that one to Ted.

I'd rather

we gave Juliana's to Ted.

Sure.

Listen, I'll tell you what.

I have to meet the string quartet

in, like, literally--

Stay.

..10 minutes.

So why don't you do this.

Take these, mark what you want to keep.

The rest we'll either chuck or give to

the goodwill. All right? Problem solved?

Fine.

- Yeah?

- See you.

Yeah.

[ Guitar ]

[ Man ] They say I should

pack it all in

But you're

all I've ever known

For me

it's beginning again

'Cause I just can't

let go

[ Vocalizing ]

[ Mom ] You're the camera guy

now, huh? [ David ] Yeah.

You should be looking

for birds, not mom.

Birds.

Birds, not me.

[ David ] Yeah.

[ Mom ] Yeah.

Amici, romani, cives--

- Where the hell is david?

- He's right there.

[ Timmy ] Not cool, man.

- Sorry.

Where the hell have you been?

We're in crisis mode here. -Sorry.

I think I may have

found a-- Oh, wow.

Look at Chad.

Fortuna bona sit.

Globos meos lambe.

So I checked every scaup,

scoter, eider,

including the palearctic

and neotropical options,

and none of them

are a match.

This again?

Did you even sleep?

So then I thought

maybe it's rarer than those.

Well, the critically endangered ducks

consist of the west indian whistling,

the laysan

and the white-headed duck.

But it's not any of those.

So what's rarer

than critically endangered?

[ Teacher ]

Prompti conicite!

Nothing. After critically endangered

it goes extinct.

Exactly.

Oh, my--

oh, damn it.

Camptorhynchus labradorius.

This would be so huge.

If Evelyn Reed knew

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