A Beginner's Guide to Endings Page #4

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Now there's no easy way to say this,

so I'm just gonna come out and say it.

Nuts, Cal, Jacob...

Boys...

...you three are gonna die.

- Excuse me?

- What?

- We are gonna...?

- Yes, it's...

- Let me see the dam n--

- Let me read it!

"And it's my fault."

The side effects of Affekterol

are mood swings and loose bowels.

The one long-term side effect

is much worse:

permanent cardiovascular damage.

Affekterol weakens the walls

of your ticker.

Now a stiff breeze could do you in.

It's bloody amazing none of you

have cashed out already.

Now, I figure a man who's done

what I've done is only fit for the grave.

I can't look at you boys.

Or myself.

So I'm gonna go on dying,

'cause I can't go on living.

Goodbye, boys.

I love you all...

...even if I never

did show it very well.

- Maybe it's just all a mistake.

- Take Todd and Juicy home.

- Maybe Duke just got it wrong.

- Take Todd and Juicy home.

- Okay, let's go.

- I don't believe it.

- There's no way. We're fine.

- No way, right?

- I'm fine. We're fine. Yeah.

- This is years ago.

- Dad's always shaky on the facts anyway.

- We're not dyin'.

- If we are, my liver goes first.

# I can't sleep at night

# Can't turn out the light

# Got to get alright

# Get myself alright

I can try

# But I know it's true...

# Take what I got

Till the sun is rain

# The sun is coming

I can pay my train

# I can't sleep at night

I can't sleep at night

# I can't sleep at night

Hey hey hey

# Alright

Hey hey hey

# Ha

Woo

# Hey hey hey

# Alright

Hey hey hey

# F***, f***, f***, f***...

F***.

Ahem.

Yeah.

- So is baby brother ready for his debut?

- Ah... no.

Not at all.

- Tank Boy is.

Cracked three jaws of his

sparring partners this week.

The whole pie, that one!

- Yeah. Just don't let him kill Juicy,

would ya?

- Oh, we're just padding Tank's record,

is all.

But ping-pong it is not.

Three good rounds.

- Mm-hmm.

Piss.

What's the matter with you?

You fighting tonight and you eating this?

It's like... giving your stomach a...

...perm.

- It's still on?

- Yeah. Ahem.

- I just... I thought--

- Yeah, no. Nothing's changed.

Now hit the gym,

take off these stupid...

Who did this?

- Me.

- You got beaten up by Todd?

- Please.

- Oh.

- I'd hardly call it "got beaten up".

- Really?

- Okay? It was a lucky shot,

and if I had any warning...

I got combo'd.

You little twat!!! It's on!

- Hey, relax.

Sit down.

- What's a twat?

- It's, uh... the smallest cone

they got at Dairy Queen.

- F*** you, Todd.

- Relax! Put your pants back on

and go hit the gym.

Hopefully you do better against Tank Boy

than you do against 10-year-old Asian kids.

- Hey.

- Can't talk. Gotta shower.

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