Whisper of Sin

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Whisper of Sin

I don't really understand.

Schizophrenia seems the worst.

Is Clerambault more horrible?

Kandinsky-Clerambault Syndrome-

much has been written on it.

Thinking becomes muddled;

speech can be incoherent.

Interpretational ravings can occur.

Your husband can be aggressive.

He can be dangerous-

especially to you.

You are young, beautiful.

Everything is ahead of you.

Maybe I shouldn't say this.

Sacrificing yourself

for an incurable,

mentally ill patient-

it's pointless.

His illness will progress.

The wisest...

is divorce.

No

I dreamed-

you killed yourself

Vika, it will get bad-

I won't be there.

Before taking your life

Remember-

you did it many times

in another life.

Death is not worth

much hope.

Suicide is a loss

of the gift to forget

leaving only a vital,

unspeakable memory.

You'll be unable

to close your eyes

for you will become

one great eye

with no lid

but so many pupils.

Vika, remember this,

oh, Vika.

In the name

of the father, the Son

and the Holy Spirit.

Amen.

The Lord be with you.

My brothers and sisters,

to prepare

to celebrate holy Mass

with pure hearts,

let us call to mind our sins

and ask God's forgiveness.

I confess to Almighty God

and to you,

my brothers and sisters,

I've sinned

through my own fault,

in my thoughts,

and in my words,

in what I've done

and failed to do.

I'm guilty, I'm guilty,

I'm very guilty,

I'm ready to hear you.

I don't know how to start.

Just start; that's all.

Ask me something.

I don't know what to say.

I loved one person,

a person now gone.

I want to forget this person.

Is this person gone

only as far as

you're concerned?

Only me

Was it a man?

Yes, he's a man.

Does he have a name?

His name is Paulius.

Was he your husband?

No

but I loved him very much.

Do you still love him?

No... Yes...

I don't know.

I want to forget him.

Vika

Was it good with me?

I feel like I'm in church.

I so much wanted

this time to be special.

This is our last time.

Forgive me.

Did something happen?

Nothing

Paulius...

No...

You always forget who I am.

Me? Forget?

Let me remember.

You are a priest,

the one who hears my sins.

You see I remember who you are.

You are the one who forgets.

That's why

I'm becoming a monk.

What will that change?

Responsibility

What about being

responsible for me?

You must choose.

I did choose.

It wasn't you.

Vika

Vika, please understand...

I can't do otherwise.

I don't want to.

I do not want to.

Paulius, I don't want to.

Don't look at me like that.

Don't leave;

please don't leave me.

Vika, what are you doing?

What did you do!?

It hurts!

I want you to hurt.

I knew...

I could feel it...

I knew the day would come.

The priest f***ing me will say-

"Today is our last time."

I knew by heart

what I'd tell you.

So now I'm telling you.

Don't leave me!

Don't go away.

Paulius, don't leave.

Played around, had your fun

and got rid of me,

is that right?

It won't be so easy

to drop me, dear priest.

My God, Vika,

I'm begging you.

Don't say God's name in vain.

Obey all God's commandments.

Get out!

Live well and be happy.

Just know this!

I will know this

and I will live.

Good

Let's formulate this problem.

You want to no longer love him?

I want to no longer love him.

I don't want to love him.

What's the difference?

I want to forget him,

cleanse myself.

I want to heal.

You'll forget me

soon enough, Vika.

Paulius, I really will forget.

God, I can't imagine tomorrow.

You'll wake up, wash up,

have breakfast...

and go to work.

Tomorrow I don't need

to go to work.

Tomorrow you must

go to the hospital

and visit your husband.

You talk like a priest.

Anyway I love you.

What happened

after Paulius left?

I was nauseous.

I crawled to the bathroom.

I didn't vomit.

I saw my image in the mirror.

It reminded me of Paulius.

Do you look alike?

No

I reminded myself of him.

Waiting for him,

I'd stare in the mirror.

Paulius was never on time.

Before we met

I looked very different.

He made me anew.

He was everywhere.

He was on my lips.

He was in my eyes, on my face.

I wanted to cut up,

change my face.

You didn't cut yourself up?

I wanted to throw up.

As I said,

I crawled over

and laid on kitchen floor.

And after that?

I couldn't go back in the room,

back in bed

where we last made love.

I drank cognac.

I smoked.

I gulped sleeping pills.

I'm cold.

Vika?

Paulius,

how much time is left?

Vika, you have died.

There is no time.

Want me to open the window?

Fly, Vika, fly.

You have died.

Fly!

Thank you

Can you give me...

How would you

explain this dream?

I think that person wants to kill.

Who?

Me

Kill me within himself.

Is an hour over?

I am tired.

OK, let's meet Thursday.

Uzi! Uzi! Uzi!

Paulius was a wonderful lover.

Before Paulius...

Love games were like chess.

I'd consider it all-

the passion, the orgasms.

It was different with him.

When we were together,

it was as though

I'd leave my body.

I'd hover by the ceiling.

I'd watch myself squirming

on the floor or in bed.

I didn't recognize myself.

Uzi!

Aw, who's this poor baby?

Where's your owner, huh?

Are you all alone, poor doggy?

Where's your tag?

Good doggy!

Oh you good, good boy!

Where was he?

I'm not telling.

Wait, I owe you.

I'm in a rush.

Wait, a burr's on your coat.

It's roots used to be a diuretic.

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