Waitress Page #4

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Hi, Joe.

How you doing today, my friend?

What can I get you?

This is my pie diner.

I own it.

I know you do, Joe.

And I think it's warm in here.

I know I'm warm.

I'll tell Cal, hon.

They keep all my businesses

too warm on the inside.

My gas station, my supermarket,

my Laundromat...

But this is my favorite business.

Joe's Pie Shop.

I'm Joe.

And I will not tolerate it being

too damn warm in here.

I hear you, Joe.

Turn the air on.

Yes, sirree, bub.

Okay.

I want two glasses of water, no ice.

Two glasses, no problem.

- Two glasses.

- Right.

No ice.

And I want the "Bad Baby Quiche Pie"

with tomato on the side,

on its own plate.

No potatoes with that?

Did I say anything about potatoes?

Where'd you get potatoes from?

No potatoes, tomato.

On its own plate.

Salt and pepper.

That everything?

No.

I want orange juice.

But don't bring that first.

Bring the water first.

Bring the orange juice

with the meal.

Okay, listen to my horoscope

before you skedaddle away.

"Aquarius...

Smooth sailing today as Mars

enters your inner circle. "

Whatever the hell that means.

"The ones you love will listen

carefully to you today,

just make sure you're careful

with what you say. "

Hmm.

I don't have ones I love.

Want to hear yours?

Uh, I'm Aquarius, too, hon.

I don't have ones I love either.

Just ones I live with.

Excuse me, I feel like

I'm going to be sick.

You okay, sweetie?

Yeah, I'm okay.

Good. Listen, um, I have

a five-minute blind date tonight

with an insurance

salesman named Pete.

Five foot 10, 37,

all his hair, nice picture,

- loves fishing.

- Five-minute date?

Can't the guy pay for

the whole thing?

Yeah, see, um, I have this idea.

I'm meeting men through

personal ads,

but I just give them five minutes.

Whether or not we

like each other,

- we just have five minutes together.

- Huh.

That way, you know,

if the guy makes me sick,

I don't waste a whole evening.

Anyway, I'm supposed

to meet this guy at

7:
00 at Banshee's.

I was wondering if you would

do a full makeup for me

here in the bathroom,

before I leave?

A full makeup for five minutes?

Well, yeah, it's very important

to make a good first impression.

I mean, wh-what if he's

Prince Charming?

There is no such thing.

Whatever.

Will you do that for me?

Yeah, of course.

Oh, would you also make me

your "Falling In Love

Chocolate Mousse Pie"?

That is my favorite pie.

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