Varsity Blues Page #2

- Not here here.

But somewhere here.

- How come you never dress like that ?

- It costs a lot to look that cheap.

- She's pretty sharp. She pulls A's.

- That's not all she pulls.

- I'm just saying she's not stupid.

- You shut up.

She broke my heart

so I broke her jaw...

- When did you graduate ?

- I'm class of 1980.

- He's class of 1980.

- And you still come to these parties ?

- I never miss these.

- That's team spirit.

Are you ready to be on

"America's Hilarious Home Videos" ?

- Absolutely.

- All right. Put down that glass.

Pick up that there flower pot.

Bring it up over your head.

Now close your eyes.

Think real hard...

You getting this ?

Say, "I'm stupid and I'm about

to get hit in the nuts."

- That's funny.

- Ain't it ?

They need to change the name to

"America's Funniest Shots in the Nuts".

- I don't know if I can concentrate here.

- Relax...

Let the dryer do the work.

All right, fancy boy,

you ready to show us your dinner ?

Nothing but net.

You thinking about

calling some dinosaurs ?

I figured I'd give them...

...a holler.

Billy Bob's gonna puke.

Hey, if you're hungry,

I left a few hot dogs in here.

I'm back ! Puke and rally !

That's the way to ride them.

First-string offence, take water.

Dummios, follow your dummy QB

for a scrimmage.

Moxon, pick it up !

Your attitude's earning you laps, boy.

Keep smiling, shithead.

He used to hammer my ass

the same way 27 years ago.

- Hell, it's good for them.

- They're having the time of their lives.

- Oop-dee-oop left, on one.

- Let's go, big Mox !

Shift !

What the hell kind of offence is that ?

Kilmer's gonna eat his ass.

- Jesus, Moxon, what are you doing ?

- It's a secret.

Your dummies can't run a simple draw,

and you got secret formations ?

- This ain't no f***ing sandlot.

- It's called an Oop-dee-oop.

Overload the defense on one side,

burn them one-on-one on the other.

You got a bad attitude

and you don't listen !

We do things around here my way !

You think you're in some fancy school ?

I wonder if you know the difference

between a sneeze and a wet fart !

- You'll be second-string all your life !

- Kilmer loves to bang on your boy.

- Been on him all season.

- Oop-dee-oop, give me a break !

I stood up to it, so will he.

We're holding our Troy back a year,

so he'll be bigger for frosh tryouts.

- Eighth grade ain't so bad, is it ?

- Our Kyle's dying to be a Coyote.

Had that ankle injury, but he's ready

to go now. Ain't that right, son ?

Kyle ?

Kyle !

He's very spiritual.

It's a shame nobody had the mind

to hold us back when we was kids.

Hell, I didn't fare so bad.

Lance ! Toss me one, son.

Let's show them your old pop's still

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes