Under Our Skin 2: Emergence Page #2

I was unable to remember

details of my daily work.

I wouldn't be able to remember

medical terminology.

It was very precarious.

It was very difficult.

He wasn't able to be functioning

the way he used to function.

I love you, my love.

See you later.

We were aware that it

was going to be necessary

to have a complete panel of lyme test

because of my exposure over 30 years.

These are the Harvard brain

DNA extracts in this tube.

The tests did not come back

with evidence that I had lyme,

but the doctor who was taking care of me

came to a preliminary conclusion

that it might be frontotemporal dementia,

and that the usual pattern

of survival is 3 to 5 years.

I was thinking about

not continuing practice.

You know, the licensing board

wins, the kids lose,

and while I was making this decision,

a child came into the office,

and he had never talked.

One of the times he was running around,

he came up before me, and

I put my hands on his cheeks

and said, "I hope I have the key"

that can unlock your brain,"

and he's off running,

and I thought, I'd spoken to the air.

He came back four months after

being diagnosed and treated,

walked in the door,

didn't run in the door,

and came right in front of me

and put my hands on his cheeks

and looked me directly in the eyes

and said, "thank you

for giving me the key"

that unlocked my brain."

And I said, that's that.

I'm gonna stay.

When I got out of the wheelchair at Dr.

Jones' office,

it was almost like you have

your life taken away from you,

and then it's like getting

your life back again,

but it's not the same.

You appreciate everything more

and just being able to walk down

the stairs any time you want,

go anywhere you want.

I'm still on medications,

but I'm doing a lot better.

I'm in college.

I'm studying biology,

and I even have a boyfriend,

which I never really

thought was possible.

Right now I'm working

as an e.M.T.,

which is an emergency medical technician.

I drive the ambulance

and take care of patients

in the back of the truck.

At least eight out of 10 times,

a person is, like,

"wait, you can't lift me."

All these moments where

I'm driving the ambulance

on a call or something,

and all of a sudden, I'll be like,

my gosh, I'm driving an ambulance.

How did this happen?

After so many years of being sick,

I was resolved and resigned

to leaving my body.

The idea of coming back into my

body seemed really daunting.

I thought I would either die

or live with this pain forever,

and I'm just so amazed

that I can think clearly again,

and I have pain-free days.

Having the support that I needed

made it all possible.

Really.

It's nice to see you, too.

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