Trapped Ashes

As we pass our New York City street,

please turn your attention

to the sidewalk up ahead.

Screen goddess Marilyn Monroe

made her very last film appearance

standing on that spot.

Studio old-timers say her spirit

has been seen there on occasion.

Well, let's see if she'll put in

an appearance for us this morning.

Oh, well. I guess she's too bashful.

How did I let you talk me into this?

Oh, stop complaining.

Look, we got these free

VIP tickets from my agency,

and, well, at least I think

my agency sent them,

but anyway, baby,

didn't you want to ever do

all those silly Hollywood

things that tourists do,

like Wax Museum or the Graveline Tour?

I did them when I first came to L.A.

In one day.

I can't believe we're

here without the kids.

How'd we get roped into this anyhow?

I think it was that architect's prize I won.

Remember that swag-bag they gave us,

the ones with the sunglasses you liked

that Alice broke?

I think they were in there.

I'm just not in the mood.

Can we please go back to the hotel?

Well, come on.

I hear the bus. Let's go.

We can still catch it.

Come on. Get some speed on it.

Henry.

Just hurry up. You can do it.

My feet are killing me.

Why did you wear the stilettos?

All aboard.

Watch your head.

Uh, conductor, is it okay

if we take pictures?

Please go ahead. We encourage it.

Oh, no, no, no. Not of me.

Nobody wants to take my picture.

Ah. Thank you.

Hey, I know that guy.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

I met with him

when I first came out here.

He worked in a bunch

of freaky little B pictures

back in the '60s.

Nobody's hired him in years.

Really?

All aboard.

Wait!

All set. And away we go.

Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to the magic

and the mystery of Ultra Studios,

where movie dreams are born,

bloom, blossom, wither, and die away.

Through this fence,

why, you can see

the most infamous set on the lot.

The legendary House of Horrors

from Desmond Hacker's Hysteria.

Um, can we go inside?

Oh, I'm sorry.

No, it's not safe inside.

We only open it for special occasions.

Well, we're special, aren't we?

I mean, this is the VIP tour, right?

Says VIP on the tickets. All access.

Well, I don't know.

It's against studio rules.

Oh, come on.

Oh, please.

We won't tell anybody.

Come on.

Well, if you're all sure.

Absolutely.

Yes.

Okay. Max, open it up. Let them in.

I tried to warn them.

Hysterial

Can we go inside?

Yes, yes. You can all come in.

Watch your step, please.

Looks like somebody's

been sitting here a little too long.

Look at this guy.

It's a shame they don't

take better care of this place.

Yeah. That's typical Hollywood.

No respect for its own past.

Hey, can we go upstairs?

Oh, feel free to walk around,

but don't touch anything.

Some of Hacker's effects

may still be working.

Okay.

Present.

Did you hear that?

No, I didn't hear anything.

It came from up there.

Andy, be careful.

Nothing there.

Yeah, whatever.

Are you here alone?

No. I'm with my husband.

That's a shame.

Because I'm here alone,

and I thought if you were, too,

we might hook up.

Excuse me. We haven't

been introduced.

Leo.

Julia.

Your husband's a very lucky man

to have such a beautiful wife.

I've always loved tall women myself.

They're such a challenge.

You work at the Egyptian Theater

on Hollywood Boulevard, right?

Yeah.

I book the films there.

I thought you looked familiar.

I'm Andy. I'm a screenwriter.

I loved the Mario Bava series you put on.

Black Sunday, Blood and Black Lace,

all that weird Italian Gothic stuff.

I wonder what happened to him.

I mean Desmond Hacker,

the guy who made Hysteria.

No one would work with him after a while.

There were rumors of orgies

and satanic rituals

at night on his sets.

He made millions for this studio,

and then one day,

they just barred him from the lot.

After that, he disappeared.

Maybe this is him.

Whatever.

Come on.

Let's get out of here.

Let's try this one.

Are you okay?

Phoebe, honey, there you are.

Where were you guys?

We were back there.

Found this crazy room

with decapitated heads.

It was really cool.

So how do we get back

to the main entrance?

We don't know.

We all came in

through different directions,

thinking that was the way out.

Okay, Mr. Tour Guide,

this has been a lot of fun

and everything,

but can you get us out of here now?

Uh, I don't know that I can.

You sure as hell can, buddy.

Come on. You got a passkey,

a walkie-talkie, something.

Stop it. You're just scaring him.

Now please. Just think.

Which of these doors

leads to the front of the house?

Well, it... it's not as simple as that.

Do you remember

the plot of Hysteria?

All the characters gather in one room

to tell horror stories to each other?

Well, this is that room.

Desmond Hacker had it built

on a rotating platform.

Once his actors were inside,

they couldn't get out

until he released them.

I think someone's trapped us in here.

Honey, where's your phone?

Damn it, where's my phone?

Sh*t. Here it is, here it is, here it is.

Listen, I suffer

from severe claustrophobia,

so if this is a joke

or interactive whatever...

Just breathe. Just breathe.

You're in for one hell

of a lawsuit, mister.

I promise you that.

Enough of this sh*t.

We're getting out of here!

No! Don't, don't, don't!

That's studio property.

F*** this studio!

You were supposed to take us

on a crummy 45-minute tour,

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