Three And Out Page #3

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you want me eyes? Is that it?

I was wondering...

if you'd be interested

in throwing yourself in front of my train.

I'd pay you, of course.

You'd pay me? Right, yeah?

Pay to run me down?

I was thinking in exchange for this... service,

I could give you, say, fifteen hundred quid.

Oh, right. And I just throw

myself under your train.

- Presumably with a smile on my face?

- Yeah, basically.

And fifteen hundred quid

in my cold, dead hand, eh?

Jesus, that's a fantastic deal.

How could I refuse?!

What the f*** am I supposed to do

with fifteen hundred quid when I'm dead?

- Buy myself a fancy headstone?

- No, no, you won't be dead...

I mean, you will be,

but not until Monday morning.

So you've got a whole weekend

to spend it on whatever you want.

- A woman, lots of women.

- What do you think I was doing last night?

OK. So... eat, drink and be merry one last time.

I'm already fat, my liver's shot

and I don't feel like laughing. Next.

There must be something you always

wanted to do and never got the chance.

There is.

Excellent! What is it? We'll do that.

I want to swim with a great white shark.

No cage. Just me and the beast.

Eyeball to eyeball.

There's a fella does it.

South African, saw him on the telly.

He just gets right in there with them, no worries.

He's never been bit yet.

I'd f***ing love to do that.

Yeah, well, the thing is,

we've only got this weekend.

It has to be Monday.

What about the London Aquarium?

Have they got sharks?

- Are you taking the piss?

- Something else, then. Give it to charity.

Isn't there somebody you know

that could use some cash?

What about your family?

My family?

They probably think I'm dead already.

There you go. Be a nice surprise for them.

- Maybe this isn't such a good idea.

- Yeah, probably best not to involve family.

Always gets messy.

What about a day at the races?

Just take the money and blow it.

F***. It's been seven or eight years.

I can't go. Not now.

Let sleeping dogs lie and all that.

I wanted to go, you know?

I'm not a completely heartless bastard.

I wanted to say goodbye. Make my peace.

- Just didn't seem right, you know.

- Definitely. I think that's...

How could I turn up looking like this?

Like a knacker without a penny in my pocket?

But that fifteen hundred, well...

I'm not a religious man,

but maybe... maybe this is God's way

of giving me one last chance

to make up for all the shite

I've rained down on them.

Ah, f***. Carpe diem.

Seize the day, huh.

Now, listen, son.

If we do this thing,

I have to make one thing clear.

- What's that?

- A deal's a deal.

There's no backing out, no f***ing around.

We shake on this, it's as good as done.

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