The Teahouse of the August Moon Page #3

I thought you were given to me

in recognition of my work here.

Frankly, I expect to be made

a general soon.

And I want that star

for my wife's crown.

- Naturally, that's very hush-hush.

- Oh, yes, naturally.

Do you know something, sir?

Do you know something?

I just think that perhaps I just wasn't

cut out to be a soldier, that's all.

Captain, none of us was cut out

to be a soldier, but we do the job.

We adjust, we adapt,

we roll with a punch...

...and bring victory home in our teeth.

Do you know what I was

before the war?

A football coach?

I was the Purdy Paper Box Company

of Pottawatomie.

What did I know about foreigners?

But my job is to teach these natives

the meaning of democracy.

And they're gonna learn democracy

if I have to shoot every one of them.

- Yes, sir.

- What did you do before the war?

Oh, I was an associate professor

at Muncie.

- What'd you teach?

- The humanities.

Captain, you're finally getting a job

you're qualified by training to handle:

- Teaching these natives to act human.

- I don't think the humanities are that.

If you can teach one thing,

you can teach another.

This is plan B. Washington has drawn up

full instructions...

...pertaining to the welfare and recovery

of these native villages.

- Consider it your Bible, captain.

- Yes, sir. I'll study it very carefully.

There might be some questions

I'd like to ask.

Washington has anticipated

all your questions.

- Yes, but I was thinking...

- You don't even have to think.

This document relieves you

of that responsibility.

- How is your Japanese?

- Oh, not so very good.

- No, no. Not good, sir.

- Oh, I can see you'll need an interpreter.

Well, I... No, no... Sir...

- I've got just the man for you.

- Colonel?

- Colonel?

- Sakini!

- I could study the language, you know.

- No need, we won the war.

Sakini present, boss.

Socks up, not sleeping.

Sakini, this is Captain Fisby.

- We meet before, boss, you forget.

- Yeah, we met.

I'm assigning you to Captain Fisby.

He's gonna take charge of a village

at the top of Okinawa.

- A village called Tobiki.

- Tobiki, boss.

Very nice place, boss,

but not at top of Okinawa, at bottom.

Don't tell me where the villages

under my command are located.

- I happen to give a course in map reading.

- Very sorry, boss.

But happen to be born in Tobiki.

It's at the bottom.

Then it's time you learned

where you were born.

Oh, very sorry, boss,

but the map upside down.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Why doesn't the army learn

how to draw a map properly?

That'll be all, Sakini.

Find Sergeant Gregovich and have him

assign a jeep to Captain Fisby.

Load supplies and the captain's gear.

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