The Teahouse of the August Moon Page #2

So have a sign posted saying:

"Sergeants are forbidden

to dance with privates."

You might as well take that memo

to the sign painter.

Yes, sir.

- Sakini here, boss.

- Don't ever put your finger on an officer.

- Oh, not all right, boss?

- No.

If you want to announce

your presence, knock.

Can't you natives ever learn anything

about custom?

What do you think you're doing?

Oh, not know, boss. Do what you ask.

Everything in this country

conspires to annoy me.

Well, where is Captain Fisby?

Oh, he come now, boss. I run ahead.

Socks fall down.

Captain Fisby reporting, sir.

Welcome to Team 147.

- I can't tell you how glad I am to have you.

- Thank you, sir.

Frankly, we're so desperate

for officer personnel...

...I'd be glad to see you

even if you had two heads.

That'll be all, Sakini.

You can wait outside.

- Okay.

- Sit down, captain, sit down.

- Thank you. Thank you very much.

- Oh, sorry, boss. I sit by door, boss.

- May as well be comfortable here.

- Yes.

Not sleep.

Have you unpacked?

Oh, yes, sir. I unpacked

as soon as I got in last night.

Well, that's too bad

because you'll have to pack again.

I am sending you to Tobiki at once.

We need a man of your caliber

up there right away.

- Well, thank you.

- I am informed...

...that you requested this transfer

from Psychological Warfare to my outfit.

- May I say that I am honored.

- Yeah.

Well, in all fairness, sir, I think I should

tell you that I was requested to request it.

Oh, may I ask why?

Well, you see, sir...

...it seems that my... My propaganda

to undermine the enemy's morale...

...undermined the staff's morale instead.

How did you get into Psychological Warfare

in the first place?

- I was requested to request a transfer.

- From what?

- The Paymaster General's office.

- What was your duty there?

Well, I had charge

of the payroll-computation machine.

Well, until...

- Until what?

- Well...

You know, machines have always been

my mortal enemy, colonel.

I don't believe that they're inanimate.

They're not inanimate.

- They're full of malice and ill will.

- I asked you what happened, captain.

Yes. Yes, sir.

Well, this machine... This... You know,

the payroll-computation machine?

It made a mistake, it seems...

...of a quarter of a million dollars

in the payroll.

And unfortunately, the men were paid

before the mistake was discovered.

- What did they do to you?

- Oh, they gave me a job licking envelopes.

- And then you asked for a transfer.

- No.

I developed an allergy to glue.

How many outfits in this man's Army

have you been in, captain?

- Let's see, how many are there now, sir?

- Never mind.

I admit disappointment, but not defeat.

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