The Strongest Man in the World Page #2

To make a cow fat. Oh, not only fat, sir,

but a strong cow too. - Thrilling, isn't it?

- I'm overwhelmed. I knew you would be. - You see, it was really my idea.

- I thought so. The kids are just helping me out.

Uh, if you'll excuse me. Shorty, I need another piece of pizza. The flavor's not quite right yet. One piece of pizza coming up. - Pizza?

- Yeah, and she seems to like it too. Do you think maybe she's Italian?

(LAUGHING) - That's not funny, Schuyler.

- Don't you get it? An Italian cow eating pizza. An Italian cow! That kills me! Engaging in a bit of merriment,

Dean Higgins? He is. I'm not. Oh, I see.

Well, it's nice of you to come by. - May I show you around?

- No, you may not show me around. I've already been shown enough with this vitamin-grinding numbskull

that calls himself a science major. - I heard that, sir.

- Good! That's not all I have to say, Quigley. Do you have any idea

how much this operation is costing you? Well, not really, sir, but we're cutting

back everywhere we can. - You take the cow rental, for instance.

- HIGGINS:
Cow rental? Do you mean

we're paying money to make a cow fat? You don't want us to have

skinny cows, do you, sir? Skinny cows, fat cows. Who cares? - Dean Higgins, please don't get excited.

- I'm not excited! Just tell me how much rental

we're paying for this so-called cow. Well, not very much, sir. (SNORTS) - How much?

- Would $15 a day be too much? Fifteen dollars a day? That's the extravagance. If the Board of Regents

ever finds out about this... Quigley, you're... (GROANS) Yes, sir? I'm what? You're... (GASPING) What's the matter, sir? I'm what? You're... (GASPING) Boy, he sure is having trouble

getting out that announcement. (GASPING CONTINUES) You're fired. - Fired?

- Fired? Yes. Fired. - Well, what about his promotion?

- Promotion? Quigley, just as soon as you can

get out, I want you out of here! Out! Out! Out! Out! Out! And another thing! You kids better

stop thinking about fat cows and think about some way to make

some money for this school, because if you don't in 30 days I'm out,

and if I'm out, you're all out! You're all out.

I'll see to that! Out! Out! DEXTER: What's the matter with him?

He acts like he's gone crazy. QUIGLEY: I think I can explain it. The school has got some

large financial problems. In fact, it may be going under. The Board of Regents has been giving

Dean Higgins a lot of pressure. GIRL: But what's he

going to do without you? The school will get

along fine without me, but thank you. I'll tell you what. Why don't you all go back and clear

away your things and... (POPPING) I guess we'll call it a day. (PHONE RINGING) (SIGHS) Yeah. Hello. MAN: Uh, hello. This Dexter Riley? (SIGHS) Uh, yeah, this is Dexter Riley. Well, this is Silas Willoughby, the man who rented Ruthybelle to you. Yeah, how are you, Ruthybelle?

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