The Rise of Catherine the Great Page #2

and rabbit's teeth.

Well, then there's the, uh...

there's the Oldenburg princess.

Which one? Which one?

There are four! Four old maids!

I know them all, and I tell you...

I am far the best

and far the prettiest too.

And the most ambitious as well.

So you want to be empress.

- So you want to govern Russia?

- Nonsense!

I don't care about

becoming an empress.

I don't care about governing Russia.

I only care for the grand duke.

Why should you care about the grand duke?

You don't even know him.

Why? I've been told about him

ever since I was born.

Since I was 1 0, I've always been told

I was to be his wife.

I've thought about him.

I've dreamed about him.

Now I love him,

and now he refuses me.

If all you've lost is the grand duke...

I should call it a lucky escape.

- Are you his friend?

- I?

- His worst enemy.

- What have you got against him?

Everything.

He's a bad friend, a dangerous enemy.

He's cruel, suspicious, disloyal, vain.

He mistrusts everyone...

including himself.

In a word,

the man's not a gentleman.

How dare you say such a thing

about His Highness.

I think you forget who I am.

I am the princess of Anhalt-Zerbst.

Oh, Your Highness.

Kindly show me

the way out immediately.

Oh, but didn't I come from here?

This is quite right, Your Highness.

Nothing but stairs and corridors

and more stairs.

Oh, but...

are you sure that's the way out?

Oh, yes, Your Highness.

It's the best way out for both of us.

Oh, don't cry. We'll find her

some husband or other.

What's the meaning of this?

Aunt Elisabeth, what was the date

you fixed for our wedding?

Oh, Peter!

This is the happiest day of my life,

and you bring me these rags!

Oh! French genius!

Paris makes me mad!

They've become idiots

in these last few years.

- How many dresses have I got?

- 5,000, Your Majesty.

All of them magnificent.

- Magnificent?

- What more can Paris do?

Invent a dress...

that makes a woman

look 20 years younger.

Don't look at me

with that sour face, Bestujhev!

But why don't you say something gay?

Whatever I say in these last few weeks

seems to annoy Your Majesty.

Oh? Go to the church

and wait for me, Bestujhev.

Insupportable.

I'll send him to Siberia.

Shuvalov.

How is that, Shuvalov?

Your Majesty looks like the bride.

No, Shuvalov.

But I feel like the bride.

Who said this frock was bad?

Oh, it's charming, charming, madame.

I think this needs to be

a little shorter.

Yes, Your Majesty.

A bit longer on the side there.

How do I look?

- Perfection, Your Highness.

- Good.

Congratulations to both of you.

Comment? Both?

Hmm. Yourself and the princess.

She hooked me and landed me, and you're

dishing me up with all the trimmings.

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