The Prisoner of Second Avenue Page #2

ls it any wonder l can't sleep?

Don't sleep next to the wall.|Sleep in the bedroom.

Will you knock it off in there!|lt is 2-damn-o'clock in the morning!

l cracked the wall!|l barely touched it and l cracked the wall.

Lucky l wasn't hanging a picture.|We could've been killed.

lt was starting to crack before.|They're fixing it Monday.

Not Monday. No.|l want that fixed tomorrow.

-Understand?|-l'll tell them.

Mention the air conditioner. And|the window that only opens if it rains.

Then it won't shut till there's a flood.

-And the toilet that's constantly flushing.|-lt stops flushing if you jiggle it.

Why should l have to jiggle it?|With the money l'm paying here...

...do l have to jiggle every time|l go to the bathroom?

When you're through, tell me.|l'll jiggle it.

You go to bed. l don't want to talk|about jiggling anymore.

Do you hear me?|Please go to sleep.

l can't when l know you're walking around|having an anxiety attack!

l'm not having an anxiety attack.

l'm just a little tense.

Oh, God.

-Why don't you take a Valium?|-l took one.

-Take another one.|-l did. They don't work anymore.

-Two Valiums have to work.|-Tell them. Mine didn't read the instructions.

Oh, don't you ever fly anywhere?|Go keep someone in Europe awake!

Stop. You're really|making me nervous now.

What is wrong? You don't look good.|You look pale. You look--

-Why are you rubbing your stomach?|-l'm not rubbing it. l'm holding it.

-Why are you holding it?|-l don't know!

lndigestion probably,|that crap l had for lunch.

-Where did you eat?|-Health food restaurant.

lf you can't eat health food,|what can you eat?

l'll make you a nice cup of tea.|l could use one myself.

Nothing is safe anymore.

l read two white mice|at Columbia University...

...got diabetes from eating graham crackers.|lt was in The New York Times.

That what's bothering you?

Did you eat graham crackers today?

Food used to be so good.

l used to love food.|l haven't eaten food since l was 1 3.

Tomorrow l'll make you real food.|l remember how they made it.

l haven't had a real piece of bread|for 30 years.

lf l'd known that, l'd have saved|some rolls when l was a kid.

l just can't breathe in here.

Christ, what a stink!

What the--?

Look at that. Fourteen stories,|you can smell the garbage.

Why do they put garbage out|in 84-degree heat?

Edna, you want to smell the garbage?

-l smell it.|-You can't smell it from there.

Come here where you can smell it.

-That a ripper?|-You're right.

lf you really want to smell it,|you have to stand right here.

Whole country's being buried by garbage,|keeps piling up higher and higher.

-ln three years, this will be the second floor.|-What can they do?

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