The Perfect Man Page #2

I need a crane

to lift my finger.

Well, baby,

if he's any good at all...

you'll never have to lift

a finger again.

I'm so glad

I listened to you.

He was a customer.

Dolores coached me

through the whole thing.

When to give him

an extra doughnut,

when to hold back.

You never told me that.

I told you.

You just didn't

want to listen.

So I've had a few

bad relationships.

Honey, if ex-boyfriends

were dollars...

you'd be loaded by now.

Now, baby,

what you gotta do is...

Mom, what you gotta do

is sign my enrollment form.

Girls, this is

my daughter, Holly.

Hi.

I'm going to get my purse.

Look at you!

All grown up.

Got your little speed bumps

and everything.

Welcome to Brooklyn, Holly.

See you girls tomorrow.

Don't embarrass her.

I've known her for so long.

So, tell me. How was it?

It was good.

Tell me more.

Excuse me, real quick,

I was just, I was over here.

I was just wondering,

did it hurt at all?

Did what hurt?

When you fell.

You know, from heaven.

'Cause I was just thinking

with a face like that...

you gotta be an angel, right?

Has that line

ever worked for you?

Well, I got you to laugh,

right? That's Step One.

I'm Lenny Horton.

I'm the bread manager.

I make, you know, the bread.

We got Italian bread,

French bread, bulky rolls...

different kinds

of kaiser rolls, pita bread.

You like pita bread?

I'm Jean.

This is

my daughter, Holly.

Hey, how you doing, Holly?

Great, and I think we gotta go

before you learn Step Two.

Lenny, tell me

you didn't use

the heaven line.

First days at new schools

always feel the same.

Like suddenly

you're on a new planet,

breathing a new atmosphere.

Can you scan this

into Match. Com?

Mom, I'm busy.

Doing what?

Do you have to

do this right away?

Can't you just

wait this time...

and see if you meet a guy

the normal way?

Have you seen these lines?

I am in a race against time.

Now get on in there

and scan this thing.

Every second counts.

Tick-tock, tick-tock.

If a student brings

a cell phone to school,

it will be confiscated...

regardless of how...

Excuse me.

I don't even know

why we're here.

It's not like they're

going to be my teachers

four months from now.

That's negative imaging,

Holly.

...are not permitted

in the school building.

Only winter hats

will be permitted between

the months of November...

and February

and kept in your lockers.

Now, I'd like to introduce

to you the Head of our

Guidance Department.

Dr. Charles Fitch.

All right, Fitchy!

Hey, Fitch!

Hey, Dr. Fitch!

Hey there, everyone.

Let me tell you how I run

the Guidance Department.

I have an open-door policy,

which means you can

stop by my office...

whenever you want.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes