The Lady Eve Page #2

Oh. The shoes are over here.

Because you were so polite, you can pick

them out and put them on if you like.

Push that side. There.

- Holy Moses!

- See anything you like?

The evening slippers are over there.

Those the ones you want?

Doesn't seem possible

for anybody to wear anything that size.

Oh, that's pretty.

You'll have to kneel down.

- I hope I didn't hurt you.

- Of course you didn't.

Don't you feel well?

Oh, I'm all right.

- What were you doing up the Amazon?

- Looking for snakes.

- I'm an ophiologist.

- I thought you were

in the beer business.

- Beer? Ale!

- What's the difference?

- Between beer and ale?

- Yes.

My father'd burst a blood vessel

if he heard you say that.

There's a big difference. Ale's sort

of fermented on the top or something.

And beer's fermented on the bottom.

Or maybe it's the other way around.

There's no similarity at all.

The trouble with being

descended from a brewer,

no matter how long ago he "brewed-ed"

or whatever you call it,

you're supposed to know all about

something you don't give a hoot about.

It's funny to be kneeling here

at your feet talking about beer.

You see, I don't like beer.

Bock beer, lager beer or steam beer.

- Don't you?

- I do not!

And I don't like pale ale, brown ale,

nut brown ale, porter or stout,

which makes me "ulp"

just to think about it.

Excuse me.

Wasn't enough, so everybody would

call me Hopsie ever since I was six.

- Hopsie Pike.

- Hello, Hopsie.

Make it, Charlie, will you?

All right, but there's something

kinda cute about Hopsie.

And when you get older,

I could call you Popsie. Hopsie Popsie.

That's all I'd need.

Here's a business I wouldn't mind.

I never realized how lovely it could be.

Oh, thank you.

We'd better get back now.

Yes, I guess so.

You see, where I've been... I mean,

up the Amazon, you kind of forget how...

I mean, when you haven't seen

a girl in a long time...

I mean, uh, there's something

about that perfume that...

- Don't you like my perfume?

- Like it? I'm cockeyed on it.

Why, Hopsie, you ought

to be kept in a cage.

The nerve of some people.

Ah, there you are.

It certainly took you long enough

to come back in the same outfit.

I'm lucky to have this on.

Mr. Pike has been up a river for a year.

- Now, look, I...

- Pay no attention to my daughter.

It always comes out

in the women of our family.

- The men are all missionaries,

with the exception of myself.

- And what an exception.

- Won't you have a drink with us?

- Just a brandy. You have it with me.

- Three brandies.

- Yes, sir.

Have you seen this one?

- Oh, he does card tricks!

- In a small way, of course.

Well, bless my soul.

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