The Knot Page #2

Alex, I did nothing.

He's just a stupid man with a stupid name,

Ralphus, making stupid comments.

Now, now, hold on.

You know how sensitive I am about my name.

My mum's mind was going through

some things at the time...

What? Her arse?

Killer shot!

Well, okay, so you think I'm stupid?

At least I didn't turn down

candy-lips last night.

Marriage is not

just a "once the ring is on the finger" thing.

Okay, well, what about

that bloke in your bed this morning?

All right, I'm a little bit confused about that.

Anyway, last night wasn't even that

type of night. I thought it was pretty tame.

You're right, it wasn't.

- Shouldn't you two be getting ready?

- Yeah.

Delicious. Mmm.

I have good news and bad news.

- Why is there never just good news?

- What is it?

Well, I guess it kind of started

at Alex's hen night.

That party was so awesome.

It had absolutely everything.

We really outdid ourselves.

But you know Anisha,

she's just never satisfied.

Then what happen?

I mean, I'm shock.

This is hen night?

I'm sorry,

what exactly are you trying to tell us?

Anisha and that stripper

have run off together.

She would send video to you?

Yeah, Anisha would.

- Oh.

Yeah, I'm sure it's her.

God, Anisha, come on.

So what's the good news?

Oh, yeah. Prada sale, 50% off.

Ooh, really?

A bond between two people

that love each other,

and the day they become

more than just a couple.

A couple of what?

Why won't you marry Helen?

I'm asking the questions.

So, do you think marriage is just vanity?

Obviously you do.

You see it in your mind 1,000 times over.

Perfecting every little detail.

The flowing white dress,

and horse-drawn carriage, huge cathedral...

So how close

will this be to the dream?

Well, I know I'm getting the white dress.

I love her and I'm proud to say that

to the whole world,

and if that's vain,

well, book me in for a pedicure.

As for the other stuff,

the church, dress, cake...

I just want it to be right for her.

The day itself is a bigger deal for the guy.

Are you serious?

That's ridiculous.

Come on. A big open display of emotion?

How often do men do that?

Guys might think about being married,

but girls dream of a wedding.

Emotion?

Aren't most men driven by their d*cks?

Yeah. Maybe.

But Jeremy's different.

My God, you stink, man.

What do you eat? Rhino?

- Why have we got to smoke in here?

- Because he doesn't like it,

so we always smoke in here.

Say it's coming through the vents,

he'll blame the neighbours.

I think I've done a double-flusher.

Something's turning in my stomach.

It must be nerves.

What are you nervous about, anyway?

I don't know.

This time tomorrow, it's all over for Jeremy.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes