The Inhabitants

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1

- Honey, you gonna be in there all night?

- I'll be right out.

I Can't believe

There's no television.

Oh, don't be such a grump.

I think it's quaint.

Hey, aren't we

on the top floor?

- Yeah, I think.

- That's what I thought.

It's just that

when I was in the bathroom,

I heard this, like,

weird creaking noise.

It's an old house.

You're right.

Mmm!

So, you want to go

antiquing tomorrow?

No, I want to go to

the witch museum.

The witch museum? Everyone

goes to the witch museum.

I know, but when in Rome...

All right, witch museum it is.

Thank you.

Anything for my baby.

But now we have to go to sleep,

'cause we have to get up early.

Okay.

- Good night.

- Good night.

Dan, I see you found the place.

Yes, and I did not

get lost this time.

Gretchen, this is my wife, Jessica.

Jessica, this is Gretchen.

- Nice to finally meet you.

- Hi.

This is my aunt rose.

She's the current owner.

Rose, this is Dan

and Jessica coffey.

They're here to see the house.

Hi. Your house is lovely.

You'll have to excuse my aunt.

This is very hard for her... handing

over the business to strangers.

- I'm sure you understand.

- Of course.

The house is over

350 years old.

It's one of the oldest

in all of new england,

dating back to

the early colonists.

It needs some updating,

but that's part of the charm.

Wow.

Great view.

Absolutely.

- It's nice, right?

- Yeah.

We have a main residence

and then three guest rooms,

all upstairs.

- How long has it been a bed-and-breakfast?

- 40 years.

My aunt and Uncle converted

it when they first bought it.

If you don't mind me asking, why

are you guys selling the place?

He died about a year ago, a heart attack.

It was very sudden.

She tried to keep the place

going on her own,

but it was just

too much for her.

Did they not have a

handyman or any other staff?

No, it was just

the two of them.

My Uncle was the fix-it type.

Liked to do things himself.

So, what's gonna happen to her?

Assisted living.

We found a lovely place

just a few Miles from here.

I have to warn you, the

upstairs is a bit of a mess.

So what about all

this furniture here?

What do you guys plan

on doing with it?

It's included. It'd be

too much trouble to move it.

And besides,

it belongs to the house.

So, what do you think?

Can we afford this?

Yes. We'll be... We'll be fine.

- Are you...

- I promise.

Okay. Let's do it.

- Really?

- Yeah,

- if you think we can do this.

- I know we can.

Okay.

- I love you.

- I love you, too.

This is gonna be great.

Okay. Well, I'll go back to the

office and draw up the paperwork.

Pleasure doing

business with you.

Absolutely.

Thank you very much.

- Congratulations.

- Thanks.

I know running

a b & b is crazy,

but it's been your dream since

as long as I've known you.

I know. I just...

Well, I guess

it's our dream now.

I am completely okay with that.

- Okay.

- Next time we drive up here,

it's gonna be our home.

Honey, where does this one go?

Uh, the kitchen.

Kitchen. Okay.

Wylie, come on, boy.

Excellent.

Honey, I got the phone working.

You want a

gold star or something?

Yes, actually, I Would love a gold star.

Thank you.

All right, well, why don't you

order us some food on that thing?

I'm starving.

- How is it?

- Okay.

- Yeah?

- Mm-hmm.

Oh.

Mm. Mm-hmm.

Did we unpack the glasses?

Hm-mmm. Not yet.

Okay.

This is gonna have to do,

madame.

Okay.

A toast

to our new home and business.

Look at us.

So classy.

Okay, well, mine's... Do you

want to know my lucky numbers?

- Yes. No. I want to read you my thing.

- What are yours?

"Keep in mind your

most cherished dreams

in the future."

- Oh, that's what We're doing.

- Yes.

And, um, "to catch a cold" is

- huh?

- Exactly.

Hey, honey?

What time do you want to

wake up tomorrow morning?

Mm, early.

Like, 6:
00 A.M.

Okay.

Excellent.

We'll have breakfast in bed.

What do you want,

pancakes or waffles?

Pancakes.

I'm so tired.

Yeah? Long day?

Yeah.

Hmm. Mm.

- What?

- What?

I'm just checking out

my gorgeous wife's

incredibly cute ass.

Can we do this tomorrow?

Tomorrow?

- Don't you know the rules?

- What?

You have to christen your

new house in your new bed,

or it's incredibly bad luck.

- Rain check?

- "Rain check"?

Yeah, I'm tired.

Did you pull that card on me?

Okay, but remind me

to oil the new bed

for the rain check.

- Sweaty dreams, baby.

- "Sw... sweaty dreams"?

Yes.

You are cruel.

- You love me.

- Yes, I do.

- Hi.

- Hi.

I forgot where I was

this morning.

Don't worry about it. It'll

take some getting used to.

So what's first on the agenda?

Got anything?

No.

All right. Um...

How about that one?

Uh, no.

All right, then.

What about that one?

Oh, yep. That's the kitchen.

That... is the kitchen.

All right.

This one is

a bit of a mystery.

Okay, so I'm all done.

Cool. Can you help me

with some of these boxes?

- Maybe.

- Come on.

Dan?

Are you down here?

Babe?

Oh, hey.

What is all this?

Uh, I don't know.

Some kind of storeroom,

I guess.

Oh.

- Oh, weird. Look at this chair.

- I know.

At least, I think it's a chair.

What is that?

I don't know, but I wouldn't

go touching it if I were you.

That's pretty nasty.

Why does it have straps on it?

I don't know. You tell me.

I don't know why

There's a strap on it.

I don't know.

You're the smart one.

So much for that rain check.

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