The Great Outdoors Page #11

- Wait a second. Why would I ditch you?

I don't know.

I'm just waiting for it to happen.

If I ditch you,

you have my permission never

to speak to me for as long as we live.

- Promise?

- Promise.

I got to go.

- See you later.

- Bye.

Yeah, that should do it.

Good idea.

I'll have the Royal Canadian Mounted

beef barley soup.

- Ooh, yeah.

- And then that bucket of salad.

- I'll split that with you.

- You will? That would help.

And then the medley of perch.

That's my favorite. OK.

Miss, what's the Old '96er?

That's our world-famous

Paul Bunyan's blue ox steak.

It is a 96-ounce prime-aged beef steak

and if any member of your party

orders the Old '96er and finishes,

everybody eats for free.

- Not bad, huh?

- Wanna go for it, girls?

- How about you, Chet?

- People like it.

- I'll try it. What the heck?

- Has anybody ever eaten one?

Oh... no. Not in my lifetime, no.

Bon apptit.

Oh, good God.

Let's check it out.

How is he?

That's good. Processing very nicely.

All right, continue.

- All right.

- I did it!

- That just about does it.

- He's not done yet.

He may take a while

with that last bite but it'll go.

- That ain't the last bite.

- Sure it is.

There's nothing left but gristle and fat.

- Oh, God, no.

- No problem.

If I can get a dessert down him,

can we get some

Paul Bunyan hats for the kids?

Bye.

Mom, can I go now?

They'll be telling their grandkids

about this.

What a night!

Where's he going?

That Jimbo's not a bad guy.

I just had a word with him out back.

'Where're the garbage cans?'

'He probably put them in the cabin.'

'Garbage in the cabin?'

'They're not the cleanest species

on the face of the earth, you know.

'It's not a problem.

We'll just have to break in.'

'Can we do that?'

'What do you think we have these

wonderfully articulate fingers for?

'To scratch our asses!'

Sh*t!

- Oh, my God.

- Jesus.

Look at the size of the maggots

on that meat.

Oh, honey!

Oh, my God.

Let's go everybody.

Move it out. It's 5am.

Fishing boat goes in 15 minutes.

These are the biggest worms ever.

They're leeches.

I am not touching leeches!

- They don't bite.

- No, they suck blood.

Would you watch the hook?!

Where's the flashlight?

Behind you.

You owe me big for this!

Very funny.

Give me a leech, will you?

Has everybody got their leech?

All right, on the count of three,

insert your hook.

One, two, three.

May I speak with Cammie?

Hold on just a minute. Cammie, phone.

Cammie's really busy,

may I take a message?

All right, just tell her that Buck called.

OK, fine, Buck. Goodbye.

- What are you up to?

- What's it look like?

- It looks like you're wanking your crank.

- I'm trying to build a fire.

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