The Children Page #2

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'Night, Mom.

Super mom.

- Miranda.

- What?

Do you know how a real

UFO sounds like?

Mommy.

Mommy.

So are you still

in that school orchestra?

No.

Oh, your dad said

you play a mean flute.

I don't really

call him dad.

Then you definitely don't

have to call me uncle.

Okay, it's right here.

Got it?

Yeah.

'Night.

Hi, it's Lisa.

I'm either busy or dead.

Thanks for picking up.

You'd better not be

this useless tomorrow.

Jinxie.

Oh, God.

Isn't this great?

I think we should have

10 more kids.

And look as tired as Lainey?

You think she's all right?

Well, you'd look tired after all that

rough stuff she's been getting.

Ecotourism? What a joke.

Snatch a glimpse of a gorilla

picking fleas off its a**hole

and we'll burn off your atmosphere

with the air travel.

They're so lucky.

They haven't got five business

brain cells between them.

And the home-

schooling thing?

I thought Chloe's

only qualification

was in yurt design.

Maybe they're getting into

fundamentalist Buddhism.

Why did you bring your

Chinese medicine files?

Yeah, I just thought

Robbie would be interested.

Why'd you interrupt me anyway

when I was talking about China?

Just support me

a bit, okay?

I told you,

I think it's a great idea.

Come on, I thought you and me

were going to have

some fun this weekend.

Did your daughter

get that memo?

Ha ha ha.

Good night, angel.

Leah, Nicky, come play with me.

I will take you to the moon.

Yee-haw!

Superman!

The strike zone.

Leah, Nicky!

- Yay!

- Me me me me!

Dad, me me me!

Don't let the kids

go on that run, Robbie.

It's too icy.

All right, all right.

Come on, race me

to the top of the hill.

Come, Paulie, leave that now.

Where are you?

We've just got to pick Danny up.

Lisa, Danny's, like, about five.

He's cute. And he

constantly wanders about.

Anyway, he's feeling sick.

We've got to cheer him up.

I've just had 24 hours

of nonversation. Just get here.

Don't pick me up at the house.

I'll meet you at the turnoff.

- You've got my map, right?

- Oh, sh*t.

Lisa.

Joke. We'll be there by 2:00 latest.

Why don't you go and f***

your horny uncle or something?

Whatever, baby raper.

Have you seen Jinxie?

Catching mice in the woods.

Fancy a go?

Exercise gives you cancer.

No adults in the tent!

I'm so sad I could fart.

Jinxie.

Jinxie.

Jinxie.

Mommy. Mommy.

Yes!

Oh, I must be the most

lax vegetarian ever.

I just thought the kids would love

a little second Christmas.

Oh, me too.

Does Robbie go to the city

much these days?

Once in a while, you know,

the new lot need his advice.

Does he stay over?

Not that often.

Where does he

usually stay?

Oh, Lainey, the milk.

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