The Boss Baby Page #2

Yes, ma'am,

I know I've been here a long time.

Believe me, it feels like my whole life.

I'm making great progress

with the parents already.

The usual procedure,

sleep deprivation, hunger strikes.

They're very disoriented.

I've got them

eating out of the palm of my hand.

They do everything for me.

It's hilarious.

But I think the kid might be on to me.

No, I can handle him.

I know how important this mission is

to the company.

Mission?

Well, trust me, ma'am.

You got the right baby for this job.

Hands up, devil baby!

Fart! Poop! Doodie!

I've gotta deal with the k-i-d.

You can talk!

Uh, goo-goo Ga-ga.

No, you can really talk. I heard you!

Fine. I can talk.

Now, let's see if you can listen.

Get me a double espresso...

and see if there's someplace around here

with decent sushi.

I'd kill for a spicy tuna roll

right about now.

Get yourself a little something.

Who are you?

Let's just say I'm the boss.

The boss? You're a baby! You wear a diaper.

You know who else wears diapers?

Astronauts and NASCAR drivers, that's who.

It's called efficiency, Templeton.

The average toddler spends, what?

45 hours a year on the potty?

I'm the boss.

I don't have that kind of spare time.

Well, you're not the boss of me.

- I am the boss of you.

- No, you're not.

- Am, too.

- Are not.

- Am, too!

- Are not!

- Am, too.

- Are not!

- Am, too.

- Are not!

Am, too. Am, too.

I was here first.

Just wait until Mom and Dad find out

about this.

Oh, yeah? You think they'd pick you over me?

With your track record?

You don't know anything about me.

So that's how you wanna play it, huh?

Let's see.

Templeton, Timothy. Middle name....

I'm sorry.

Leslie!

- Mostly C's...

- How do you know all that?

Can't ride a bike without training wheels?

Even bears can ride a bike

without training wheels, Leslie.

DOB says you're seven.

Seven and a half.

Power nap! You were saying?

I'm seven and a half.

Exactly! You're old.

It's time to make way

for the next generation.

It's the way of the world.

You would never ask your parents

for an old toy.

Lam-Lam?

Everyone wants the hot, new thing.

Destroy. Destroy.

- Lam-Lam!

- I've got fresh batteries.

Boom!

Mom and Dad don't even know you.

They love me!

Oh, yeah? Do the math, kid.

There's only so much love to go around.

It's like these beads.

You used to have all your parents' love.

All their time. All their attention.

You had all the beads.

But then I came along.

Babies take up a lot of time.

They need a lot of attention.

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