The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel 2

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1

I came in last night about half past ten

That baby of mine wouldn't let me in

So movin' on over

Rockin' on over

Move over, little doll

The mean old dog is coming in

Breathe the air, Mrs. Donnelly!

I'm eating dust.

The wind in your hair!

Put the bloody top back on, Sonny!

I will not hear your negativity.

Madam, this is Route 66

and we are most assuredly

getting our kicks!

Whoo!

She changed the lock on my back door

Now my key won't fit no more

Movin' on over

Rockin' all over

Move over, nice doll

The mean old dog's going in

Hi. I'm Chet and I'll be

happy to valet your car.

Not as happy as we are

that you are happy to do so, my friend.

Just tell me... Just tell me

there's a cup of tea

and a biscuit waiting inside.

That's a great accent.

Are you from Australia?

The sound of destiny, madam...

calling us with her siren song.

And go to her we must!

For this is our moment.

If not now, when? And if not us, who?

Later?

Somebody else?

My hand is powdered,

so the shake is firm and dry.

My clothes precisely walk the tightrope

between casual and relaxed formality.

Sonny, Sonny. Let me do the talking.

- Alright?

- Okay.

Mr. Burley.

While I am aware that...

convention dictates that I should wait

for your assessment of our proposal...

please take my interruption

less as rudeness than proof...

of our profound excitement

at the opportunity to meet yourself...

and your fine company.

And let me say right here and now...

Alright, that's enough, that's enough.

We agreed that my colleague would do

the speaking and rightly so for...

while her language may be... salty,

it has great economy and pith.

I don't care about any of that.

No, listen and learn, son.

Tea is an herb that's been dried out.

So to bring it back to life,

you have to infuse it...

in boiling water.

That is boiling water.

Everywhere I've been in this country...

they slap down

a cup of tepid nonsense...

you know with the teabag

lying beside it...

which means I've got to go through

the ridiculous business of dunking it...

in the lukewarm piss...

waiting for the slightest change

of color to occur.

And at my age... I haven't got the time.

This is what I'm talking about.

Get her some boiling water.

Now, Mrs. Donnelly.

Tell me more about your establishment.

We've been going properly

for about eight months now.

But phase two of the development

is more or less complete.

Like life and a tortoise.

It's not exactly fast-moving...

- Mrs. Evelyn Greenslade.

- Here.

...but you only make progress

when you stick your neck out.

- Mr. Douglas Ainslie.

- Here.

We have guests that come and go.

- Mrs. Muriel Donnelly.

- Here.

But there's been a hard core

of regulars from the beginning.

- Mrs. Madge Hardcastle.

- Here.

Mr. Norman Cousins and Miss Carol Parr.

Both here.

We have monthly check-ups

at the local clinic...

and Sonny takes

a roll-call every morning.

A most valuable precaution to ensure

that nobody has died in the night.

Most of our guests don't just live

in India, they now work there.

These are lovely.

That is why they cost

10,000 rupees each.

Every day? We have to do this every day?

Process, madam.

We must respect the process.

Very well. You and I both know

that since a fine, genuine pashmina...

requires the annual growth

of at least three Changra goats...

you and everyone in this market

blend the yarn to give it more body.

The reason I come to this stall is that

whereas Bharat over there uses wool...

and Mohan goes with the rabbit fur...

you at least use a reasonable

quality of silk.

I'll give you 5,000 for four.

Done.

Thank you.

I'll see you tomorrow, Hari.

Tomorrow, Miss Evelyn.

And thank you for your respect.

Two of the guests have made

themselves useful

at the local expats club.

Which is, shall we say,

a little down on its uppers.

- Norman...

- Mmm?

I know the membership's dropping,

times are tight, but...

do you really have

to water down the wine?

What?! I uncorked it myself.

They're on to us.

Let's try the red.

And others are doing jobs

they never thought they could do.

One Queen was so

close to her elephant...

that when she passed away, the elephant

stood beside her tomb for three days...

before dying of grief.

We should all know such love,

just not necessarily from an elephant.

And sometimes they're right, they can't.

- Uh, when were these built?

- I'm sorry?

- What period are we talking about?

- What, um...

period? Ah, uh... yeah. Um...

17th... 17th century.

17th century.

- Sure?

- Absolutely positive.

- Wait, wait, wait. Maybe 18th.

- Oh, oh, oh...

Please admire the beautifully carved...

Now please admire

these beautifully carved pillars...

that are engraved

with typical Rajasthani...

which are engraved

with typical Rajasthani carvings.

typical carvings which...

And, um, you, you, you can see...

Look, I could talk and talk...

but all that counts in the end

is this one had an idea.

I know, I know, but it works.

The proof of our success

is we are victims of it.

The Marigold Hotel is full up.

With nobody checking out.

Until the ultimate check-out.

So we have to expand.

There's a local place

we've got our eye on.

The Supreme Quality Hotel.

You put up the notes, we buy it.

And we become the furthest outpost

of the Evergreen franchise.

Leading to a chain of hotels

stretching across India and beyond...

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