Tales of Halloween Page #2

- It's a Halloween tradition.

- It kind of is.

I actually started

when I was about your age too.

Plus, if you don't,

I will tell everyone

that you pissed your pants.

But I don't pee...

No one else will know that,

Captain Pisspants.

But I don't pee in my pants.

Really? Fine.

Go. Up there.

Oh, my God.

- Oh, shoot!

- Holy sh*t, run.

Oh, sh*t!

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Nice costume.

I didn't...

I mean, I had no idea.

No idea that what?

That you terrible children

have been destroying

my home for years?

He said... They told me it was

a Halloween tradition to prank.

Quiet!

Young man...

tonight...

you are going to learn...

what a real Halloween prank is.

By the way, Billy,

is your mother dressing up

again this year?

Hmm?

Yeah!

Ladies, Happy Halloween.

Ooh.

Meow!

Boo! Boo!

Come on.

Ohh...

Happy Hallo... ween.

Candy rots your teeth.

Can't have that, can we?

- Ugh!

- Don't forget to floss!

What an a**hole.

Happy Halloween!

- What the hell?

- Hey!

- Billy, what the hell, man?

- Billy, you little sh*t!

What are you doing?

Is that gasoline?

Are you joking me?

What are you doing out here

by yourself?

It's not funny!

It is not funny!

Hey, give me the candy!

Hold that.

He's got a gun!

That's it!

Go, go, go, go, go, go!

Go, go, go!

Get the trick-or-treater!

Get 'em, kid!

It's tight! Tight in the shirt!

- It's a heart attack.

- Oh, my God.

Are you okay?

- Aren't you Adrianne Curry?

- Yes.

Ooh! Might I have

your autograph?

Big fan, big fan!

Okay.

Thank you.

Adrianne Curry!

How many Twitter followers

do you have?

500 thousand?

500 thousand and one.

Hit 'em, hit 'em, hit 'em!

Shh.

Ah! I guess we'll

come back again.

Good going, buddy!

Excellent work back there,

Mordecai.

Now if you'd be so kind

as to untie our guest.

What? I thought

you were gonna show me

what a real

Halloween prank was.

Oh, I believe I did.

And I believe you'll find

some visitors at your home.

Why don't you just

run along now, little boy?

You know, your mother's going

to have a lot more free time

on her hands now.

I just want you to know

that I plan to be here for her.

Freeze! Let me see your hands!

- Get on the ground!

- Hands behind your head!

- Don't you move.

- Did you just pee yourself?

He just peed himself!

What the hell's wrong with you?

I wonder what happened

to the ones from last year.

Each year we spend good money

on these things,

come out here, and the ones

from last year's gone.

Flowers die.

The caretaker or somebody

takes them away.

Yeah, a little spit

and polish will clean this up.

Hey, hey, check this one out.

Awesome, huh?

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