Stars Don't Die in Liverpool Page #2

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Sh*t.

Hey, you're the next-door guy, right?

Which makes you the girl next door.

Hey, have you seen the movie Saturday Night Fever?

Er, yeah, I've seen it.

Actually, I saw it three times.

Oh, so you like disco dancing?

Oh, God, um...

Well, I like drunk dancing.

Oh, so if I make you a drink, will you come into my room and hustle with me?

I need a partner for my dance class.

I mean, if you fix me a drink, I'll come in and clean your bathroom.

Huh!

If you're thinking you're too cool to boogie-woogie

Boy, oh, boy, have I got news for you

Everybody here tonight must boogie

Everybody boogie

Let me tell you, you are no exception to the rule

Get on up on the floor

Cos we're gonna boogie, oogie, oogie till you just can't boogie no more

Can't boogie

Can't boogie no more

You can't boogie no more

- Ooh!

- Can't boogie

Wow!

- We got some moves going on here.

- They miscast that Travolta bloke.

Would you just watch the hair?

I worked a long time on my hair and then he hits it.

He hits my hair!

- It's him.

- No, I got a better bum.

Hoo!

Yeah, I noticed.

So, you're an actor, too, right?

Er, well...

- I pretend to be.

- What are you working on?

Er, the usual.

Tables, chairs, sideboards.

Huh?

I work in a second-hand furniture shop right now.

I'm in between acting jobs, I'm afraid.

Oh, don't be afraid, honey.

Happens to all of us.

Hey, let me fix you another drink.

Oh, sh*t. Sh*t.

No, no, no. I can't. F***.

Sorry. I've got to meet a friend at the theatre tonight.

Oh. A friend, huh?

Him friend or her friend?

- It's a him friend, yeah.

- Uh-huh?

- What are you gonna see?

- Krapp's Last Tape by Beckett.

- Hope it's better than it sounds.

- It's a one-man play.

- Oh, I love those things.

- Why?

You get to say all the lines.

OK, well, pop by any time.

We can talk about the craft.

Swap notes and stuff.

And maybe we could, er...

- More disco?

- Sure, you bet.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

It was, er...

It was really lovely to meet you, Gloria.

And you, Peter.

See you around.

Is this like a date or more...

Well, I thought you could do with a break from rehearsals.

Oh, gosh, you're so kind.

You were sending me spare with all that "laa, poo, bah, mah" shite.

Oh, honesty! I like that in a fella.

- Are you OK?

- I'm all right, yeah.

Wow, blood and guts everywhere.

Isn't that something?

That was f***ing terrifying.

I could use a drink after that.

Er, pint of bitter for me, please.

- And you'll be having?

- I'll have the same.

- Two pints, please, mate.

- I'll be right with you.

Yeah, it's when the small aliens pop out

from between your legs that things get complicated.

Oh, yeah? How many times has that happened to you, then?

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