Southland Tales Page #2

of the average American

man and woman.

I'm Krysta,

Krysta Now.

And we are here,

live in Malibu, with my guests today...

Shoshana Cox,

Sheena Gee, and Deena Storm.

Join us for an in-depth discussion

of the penetrating issues

facing society today...

issues like abortion, terrorism,

crime, poverty, social reform,

quantum teleportation,

teen horniness, and war.

Now we all made decisions

in our youth to start doing porn.

I think it's time that we

turn the mirror on ourselves.

And once you get on the bang bus,

you never get off.

You know what?

The bang bus should be banned.

It's totally unethical,

even within the parameters of porn.

Do you like to get slapped

to the ground and f***ed?

Too violent.

Violence and porn should not mix.

It gives porn a bad name.

You know what?

I like to get f***ed.

I like to get f***ed hard.

- Yeah. Me, too.

- Amen to that.

I mean, violence is a big problem

in our society today,

and I will not support it.

That's the primary reason

why I won't do anal.

I didn't know that about you.

Makes me want to give up anal.

Anyone who knows

anything of history

knows that great social changes

are impossible

without feminine upheaval.

Our first issue today is terrorism.

Go ahead and make fun of

my prophecies all you want, Fortunio.

But deep down inside,

everyone wishes

they were a porn star.

Really?

We're a bisexual nation

living in denial,

all because of a bunch of nerds,

a bunch of nerds who got off a boat

in the 15th century

and decided that sex

was something to be ashamed of.

All the Pilgrims did was ruin

the American Indian orgy of freedom.

You been lying to me?

You have to trust me.

I'm here to protect you.

From who?

From the people out there

who want to destroy you.

Later that day,

Krysta had a lunch meeting

with adult film director Cyndi Pinziki.

Well, in my first six movies

I was just "Krysta. "

You know, but then in order

to differentiate myself

from the 76 other Krystas

in the business,

I added the "Now. "

Wow.

Well, it's all about now, 2008,

not next week, not tomorrow.

If you want to f*** me,

you can f*** me... now.

Wow.

So is that the name

of your TV show? Now?

It's a topical-discussion-

chat-reality show.

Got the pop album, the jewelry,

clothing and perfume line,

the energy drink.

This is a very ambitious

business plan.

Can you keep a secret?

Of course.

I'm f***ing a very large

and important man.

Wow.

The search for Boxer Santaros

reached up into the highest levels

of national security...

led by none other

than his mother-in-law...

Nana Mae Frost...

wife of Republican senator

Bobby Frost,

former prom queen

and Deputy Director of the NSA.

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