Smosh: The Movie Page #2

Come on! Did you see those girls?

Come on, dude. You loved it.

I'm worried about you, man.

I don't think you're

living in the real world.

The real world sucks.

The real world is actually pretty amazing.

So, the kids that are

probably taking a dump

on the cheese mobile, they're amazing?

And what about all the

girls that are walking around

that aren't talking to

you? Are they amazing?

And these girls would talk to

me if you weren't here dancing

to the theme song from Magic

Pocket Slave Monsters.

Then who wants them?

I do!

Look, I got to go. My ten minutes are up.

- I'm still on the clock.

- What?

- Have fun.

- Wait.

Dude, how am I supposed to get home?

Sorry, one of us has a job here.

Just take a cab or something.

I'll be home after my shift.

Do it, do it!

Do it! Do it!

Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it!

Hey, get off my cheese mobile.

Run!

Oh, my God.

Yeah, get out of here.

Punks.

Do you have a name for your butt?

May I suggest, "Perfect"?

Hey, Ian?

You've been seeing that

girl for a few months now.

When do we get to meet her?

I don't know, Mom. We're

not rushing into anything.

- Bye.

- Okay, bye.

- Bye.

- She seems lovely.

She's amazing.

Son...

just... make sure she's not a dude.

Unless you're into that sort of thing.

In which case, it's totally cool.

Okay.

Great talk, Dad.

Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Hey, I, uh... We haven't gotten our mail

in, like, three months. What gives?

Yeah, you might want to ask

your little friend about that.

- Who Ian?

- The bowl-headed idiot

with the face you just want to punch?

- Yeah. Ian.

- Yeah, I'm done delivering mail

to this house.

You want your mail? Oh, you want your mail.

- Okay.

- Yeah.

Let me get you your mail.

Here's your mail. You want your mail?

- Oh!

- There's your mail.

You must want your package, too.

Here's your package.

From now on, you get your

mail at the post office.

Hey, what did you do to the mailman?

Nothing. Why?

You know what you did.

Seriously, man? Butt Massage Girl again?

She's my girlfriend and

she has a name, you know.

Oh, really? What is it?

I don't know, but I'm sure she has one.

You know nothing about that girl.

Uh, she likes butt massages. I know that.

What does her face look like?

Like a butt. I think.

Look, it doesn't matter. We're a thing.

Sure, our love is maybe a little

unconventional, but it's real.

Nice!

She really cares about me.

Dude, we got some letters here.

If it's from my grandma, check for Anthrax.

Dude, we got an invite to our

five-year high school reunion.

Really?

When is it?

It is...

tonight.

Cool.

You do realize what this means, right?

Free tacos?

Yeah, free tacos, but more importantly...

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